Monday, August 31, 2009

That's a different take

Haudricourt brings up something that I hadn't yet thought of. Seeing if Hardy could be converted to a pitcher. I know he pitched in High School and thought he would be drafted as a pitcher originally, but how open would he be to that? He didn't even want to consider moving in the infield.

http://www.jsonline.com/blogs/sports/56364512.html

I think his value in trade would be more than trying to convert the unwilling. It will interesting to see what they do. Either way, I don't expect a boring offseason.

Random Baseball Card / Random shit out of a box


Apparently, I have more than just baseball cards in the box in my closet. Before this I pulled out Man-At-Arms from He-man. I figured I would just roll with this and change this feature from Random Baseball Card to Random Shit out of a Box. Who knows what I'll pick out next. I know I had some Thunder Cat cards at some point...

This was from the 2003 set of most wanted Baath Party members. Collect them all!

Did you hear the one about Saddam being hung? (Ouch)

Hardy har har

I'm not sure that I agree with the way the Brewers are dealing with the JJ. Situation. Hardy was having a terrible year and definitely needed to be sent down to get his swing back, but is it really fair for him to lose an entire year of service? I don't believe for a second that Melvin didn't know about that situation when he sent Hardy down. I'm sure the fact that the Brewers would control him for an additional year was in their minds from the beginning. They knew his value on the market would be greatly increased by selling a two year player vs. a one year stop gap. They also knew Escobar was probably ready to step in.

I will say that Hardy has not made a strong case to be brought back up batting in the low .260's; however, I just figured they would bring him back up at least a day early as a courtesy. He has been a good teamate and a solid defensive short stop since day one, so I feel he deserves to keep this year of service.

The Brewers normally do not treat players this way. Word gets around about this type of thing and causes players to think twice about signing. It can also really have an affect on player morale. You can already tell that other players are not happy about the whole thing.

I know this is a business and sometimes things go down that aren't in the best interest of both parties. It just seems like they took the wrong route in dealing with the Hardy / Escobar situation. I guess in the end it's better to have too many players for a position than not enough.

Soup Pitched Great...

Probably one of his best games with the Crew giving up just 1 run over 6 innings; however, Suppan wouldn't have had such a good start without the defense stepping up again. 4 double plays, 2 of which were difficult turns with Counsell hanging tough and Suppan with a nice cover as well.

The Hobo had a great series with three stolen bases in two days and some clutch RBI. He must have really ate his beans and maybe even some legumes. I know he use to be a stolen base threat, but he kinda runs goofy now after having his foot almost fell off. I don't understand the logic of not stealing bases all year until now. Where were all these steals when we were still in the race?

Sweeping the Pirates brings the homestand to .500. When you're playing a team with 11 players on the DL and another that has sold off all their major talent you should probably do better than that. Now we go into St. Louis and I hope we can carry some momentum from the last 3 games. It would be nice to play spoiler and at least make a run here to get over .500 for the season. Anyway you slice it this season has been a disapointment, but if we don't finish with a winning record than it's like taking 10 steps back.

Rosters expand to the full 40 on Tuesday. It doesn't sound like we'll be bringing to much up right away as the Sounds are in the Pacific Coast League playoff race. When they do my guess would be Burns, Dillard and maybe Mike Jones for pitching. Position players could be Gamel, Iribarren, Patterson, Salome, Lucroy and Cain. Salome has struggled since coming back from an early season injury. I think Lucroy will pass him in prospect status soon. I like that kid a lot. Obviously, Hardy will be brought up, but that's a whole different post.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Capuano Update

Capuano will be starting a rehab assignment in Helena.

http://www.jsonline.com/blogs/sports/56227447.html

I've always liked Cappy and I hope he can make it all the way back. It's going to be rough after his second T.J. surgery.

Sunday Lineup

Gerut in center field. You might be seeing that next year.

2B Felipe Lopez
SS Craig Counsell
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
3B Casey McGehee
CF Jody Gerut
C Jason Kendall
RF Frank Catalanotto
P Jeff Suppan

Enough is Enough

(Not the shitty 80's band) This comment from Macha in regards to yesterdays game is a bit disturbing and Yost like:

“Not pretty but the guys played hard and hustled,” said manager Ken Macha. “It wasn’t the three-run homers. Occasionally, it’s OK to win a game like that.” (I didn't hear the audio for this, but he's usually not the type to joke around)

Occasionally? What the fuck is that suppose to mean? It wouldn't be ok if we won a shit-ton of games if home runs weren't involved? It appears that Macha has drank the same home run Kool-Aid as Melvin. This shit has gone way to far. This mentallity is yet another reason this team has taken a nose dive this season.

Normally I'm very level headed about calling for people's heads, but this comment has sent me off the deep end. This isn't working. I think it's time to not only retool the team, but the management as well. Macha should not be managing in the National League with this type of attitude. Dump Macha, promote Willie Randolph and send porn stache extraordinaire packing.

If you wanted to be only a home run hitting team then you probably should have stayed in the American League.

Clown is going to get a Melvin bobble head and take a steaming shit on it.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Witrado still sucks

Once again Anthony Witrado of the JS asks a question and doesn't have any answers or insights at all. This time it is in regards to the pitching dilema for next year. I don't understand how this fucktard got a job much less keeps it. I think Casa de Machado should be the official blog of the Brewers. It's better than this trash. I could cut down the swearing to less than one F bomb per sentence...

http://www.jsonline.com/blogs/sports/55946147.html

Saturday Lineup

Typical lineup. Cat in The Outfield, so Josies on a vacation...

2B Felipe Lopez
3B Craig Counsell
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
CF Mike Cameron
RF Frank Catalanotto
C Jason Kendall
SS Alcides Escobar
RHP Yovani Gallardo

See you at the game.

Parralized

Parra is starting to look more and more the way he did earlier in the season by giving up big innings and a shitload of hits. I don't want to hear about how much potential he has and how good his pitches can be if the end result is always the same. You're not a rookie anymore, time to get your shit straight. I imagine the plan was to have Gallardo 1 and Parra 2. That just doesn't seem realistic at this point. Unfortunetely, it doesn't sound like there will be much in the way of available pitching in the offseason, so that may be the way it ends up.

Finally hit a few bombs with someone on base. That's about he only way you're going to win by the long ball without manufacturing some additional runs. You just can't hit 6 home runs every game. We're going to continue to have a streaky offense until we get more guys hitting for average. Braun and Fielder do both, but they are not the norm.

I would say the win was secured by defense. Some great plays by Meeheegeeheenee to save several runs. He had 3 or 4 great digs on bad hops. Escobar is also really starting to show some great range. He almost came up with a play that was damn near the 3rd base line. The infield future looks bright. I will say that Lopez really needs to get healthy because he again missed a few that he should have brought up. His offense has been stellar, but he is starting to hurt us in the field. Some times it almost looks like he is tanking plays.

Andrew Mccutchen is quite a talent. Offensively, every time he would come up I found myself saying "Oh, fuck" because I knew it was either going to be a double or a home run. Defensively, he has great range in the out field and continuously makes amazing plays.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Sweep The Pirates


Friday Lineup

I think we're just experimenting for next season at this point.

2B Felipe Lopez
RF Jason Bourgeois
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
3B Casey McGehee
CF Mike Cameron
C Jason Kendall
SS Alcides Escobar
P Manny Parra

See you at the game!

Go Brewers! (Although, there isn't really anywhere to go)

Hoffman

Trevor Hoffman was claimed off waivers by the Giants. Doesn't sound like they will offer enough to do a deal, so he will most likely be pulled back off waivers. Baseball really did a good job of making all this shit confusing as hell.

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=4428805

Junk Truck'n - Junk Van'n

Whether you are part of a crack commando unit convicted for crimes you did not commit or you're looking to give kids candy and enjoy captive audiences, this is the vehicle for you!

I think it's a tragedy when an awesome van goes without a giant spoiler. It also needs either a flying eagle or a half naked women mural painted on the side. Some dice would complete the package.

Don't forget your chloroform and a sock...

Grammatical Suicide

I was pulling into Potowatomi a few months back and the person in front of us had the following awesome licence plate cover:


Clearly, this was made in some sweat shop overseas where they do not know the english language very well. If you haven't spotted the error it says your instead of you're. Yet, somehow they managed to get the too correct?! I can't believe a company would mass produce something like this and not notice the error. I also can't believe that this person was stupid enough to buy it, screw it to his car and not notice. Also, Who the fuck are you to tell me that I'm too close? Maybe I'm a quarter mile behind you and just eat a lot of carrots?

After taking the pictures we started walking into the building and noticed the person who owned the car sitting on a bench in the entrance. He looked either suicidal or homicidal, I couldn't tell which one. I think maybe the guy has RLS and his Mirapex made him both suicidal and addicted to gambling.

If you're the one who owns this car, hang in there. Just because you're illiterate doesn't mean you can't be a usefull part of society. (in south milwaukee)

Bosio is no Bozo


I got into the game early yesterday and was sitting directly above the bullpen. Suppan and Parra were both in there doing what appeared to be bullpen sessions. Bosio seemed very involved in their workouts going as far as drawing stuff in the dirt. Although, it kinda looked like he was drawing a pizza, which would make sense looking at him. Which, by the way, his gut is even more impressive in person! Anyway... After the bullpen session he went out with Bush to get him loose. He was talking to him making suggestions and adjusting his pitches accordingly. He even stood there pretending to be swinging a bat. I never saw Castro do this type of stuff. Castro seemed to just stand there and not be involved at all.

I don't know if a pitching coach really makes that much of a difference, but if anyone will I think Bosio will be the guy. You could tell he has a very good rapport with the players. I like his approach and I hope the Brewers sign him on for next year.

Maybe I just like him because my dad used to call him Bozo Bosio and Bozo is a clown...

Swept Away

The Reds came in 10-26 since the break, with 11 players on the disabled list and handed us our ass.

Bush looked good through 4 and then lost it in the 5th when he walked the pitcher. It was all down hill from there. Our bullpen is terrible. I just can't believe how bad they have gotten over the course of the season. When the season started they were one of the best in baseball, now the worst. It's becoming difficult to even write about these games. At this point I think Melvin's job is definitely in jeopardy.

I think Haudricourt sums everything up best as he uses the word discouraging 3 times in one sentence.

http://www.jsonline.com/sports/brewers/55483752.html

The shitty game kinda soured the fact that I had great seats in Friday's home run porch. If you've never sat there I highly recommend it.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Thursday's Lineup

Lopez back in the lineup leading - guess the injury isn't too bad. Bush going for the first time - hopefully his minor league rehab starts weren't some kind of anomaly.

2B Felipe Lopez
RF Jody Gerut
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
3B Casey McGehee
CF Mike Cameron
C Mike Rivera
RHP Dave Bush
SS Alcides Escobar

Racist Cubs?

According to Milton Bradley the fans at Wrigley have been taunting him with racial slurs. He also mentions being out for dinner and having people around him speak of him with hatred. I have to say that the Cubs brought this on themselves by thinking he changed somehow. He's always been a douche and he always will be. Although, I don't think Milty understands the difference between racial hatred and hatred because he sucks and is a cancer. If this were true wouldn't they be yelling shit at other black players from other teams?! Maybe they have and I haven't heard about it? Cubs fans are giant douches, but I tend not to believe anything Bradley says.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs/chi-27-cubs-milton-bradley-aug27,0,5478912.story

Either way it's great to see the Cubs infighting again. Seems as though whenever they are doing bad there is a fight or some other kind of implosion.

A less exciting loss

Once again living by the long ball causes us to die. This is the type of loss you suffer when you build a team solely on the home run ball. Inability to get on base and manufactor runs has been killing this team all year. (besides the pitching). The problem with this teams home runs is they are always solo shots or 2 baggers. They never seem to make a substantial difference in the games. You need a good mixture of power and average.

Gerut again with a solid game. I guess he's going to make me eat my words on not having "as much pop as promised" as he belts another one last night. I would imagine that he will get a lot more playing time as Catalanotto seems to be cooling a bit from his torrid August.

Vargas.... I don't think they keep stats of number of times having the bases loaded and getting out of it, but if they did he would probably be #1. That's pretty much all he did his first go around with the Crew. In the beginning of 2007 he would load the bases every damn game, but some how always found a way to get out of the jam. As the season wore on he started to load the bases and get lit up. Either way, he's a guy that can eat innings and at this point that is really what we need. Plus, I really enjoy saying "Vargas" like Kevin in the bizzaro world Seinfeld episode.

Escobar has come as billed with some crazy defense. He seems a bit streaky at the plate, but that is to be expected just coming up. No where near the J.J. Hardy year long streak of suckage. I've actually been impressed with his plate presence and patience. Doesn't seem over matched at all. He's ready to roll.

Looper with a quality start giving up just 2 runs over 6. I've heard people compare Looper to Suppan and I think that is idiotic. Looper has gotten lit up a few times this year, but all in all has had a respectable season. Suppan hasn't had a respectable season in 3 years with the Brewers. How many quality starts over that time has Suppan had? I would guess 5. (maybe)

Probably only a few updates today as I will be at the game this afternoon.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Wednesday lineup

Lopez out with a foot arch injury. I would assume that's less serious than a hamstring.
Gerut at leadoff instead of Escobar? Ok...

RF Jody Gerut
2B Craig Counsell
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
3B Casey McGehee
CF Mike Cameron
C Jason Kendall
SS Alcides Escobar
RHP Braden Looper

Mention on Brew Crew Ball

Casa de Machado was mentioned and linked to twice today on http://www.brewcrewball.com/ It's drawn a lot of hits from the links, so thanks for the props BCB.

If you've linked here from BCB, hope you enjoy your stay. Check out the archives and stop back soon. Plenty of fresh crazy updates all the time.

IPhone - Bum App


There was a commercial last night for an IPhone app called Bump. The first time I heard it I thought it was a "bum" app. Not an app for the terrible B.U.M clothing line from the 80's, but an actual app that assisted with hoboism. I was disappointed to say the least when I found out it was some stupid contact transfer app. I have decided that I'm totally going to develop a bum app. Some of the features I was kicking around include:

1. Bean situation calculator - This will tell the hobo user if he has had enough beans that day. It can also locate other hobos that may have beans to share.

2. Train schedule - This would only show trains that have been reported to have open doors for entry.

3. hobo Symbol converter - Take the guess work out of the illiterate hobo symbol code. Just take a picture of the symbol and this will convert it into an audible answer in broken toothless mumbling hobo english.

4. Stick and Bindle maker - Kinda like a PDF maker except this will show you how to build a stick and bindle out of things you may find on the road and in nature.

5. Flame - This will show a flame on the screen to keep you warm at night when a burning barrel is not available.

6. Scruffy Dog Determination - Take a picture of a scruffy dog and this will let you know if it will make a good companion.

7. Tooth Counter - This will track the number of teeth you have lost from eating hard beans. The average hobo loses 3 teeth per day.

8. Jason Kendall photo viewer - This will be loaded with all kinds of Kendall pictures. No Bum app would be complete without this.

The Bum App from Apple & only for the iPhone…

New Feature - Random Baseball Cards

I thought it would be interesting to reach into the box in my closet and see what random old baseball card I come up with. I don't even know what I have in there anymore. You'll have to excuse the shitty picture as the scanner at Clown Camp isn't working. I had to use my cell phone camera.

Today's random card is:

Flash! ahhhhhhhhhhahhhhh...



A much younger and thinner Tom "Flash" Gordon 1990 Topps All Star Rookie card. A lot of times they were totally off with their "Rated Rookies" and other monikers, but in this case Tom Gordon has had quite a long, quality career.

AFL Rosters


The Arizona Fall League rosters have been set. The Brewers will send pitchers Mark Rogers, Omar Aguilar, Zach Braddock, Josh Butler and Rob Wooten; along with position players Jonathan Lucroy, Taylor Green and Lorenzo Cain.

Cain is not exactly raking batting only .211 since returning from a early season knee injury. That was a major hit to next years plans with Cameron most likely not coming back. We don't have a lot of outfield prospects left after trading away Michael Brantley and Cole Gillespie.

It might be time to think about Taylor Green switching positions. He seems to be eternally blocked at 3B. Time to start stocking this team with something other than just HR hitters. (But what do I know, I'm just a clown)

Rogers has been pitching very well at class A this year. He's still on a limited pitch count, but I have a feeling we will see him before the end of 2010.

I'm a bit surprised no Mike Jones. I would assume it was only due to limited spots and they wanted Rogers to continue going longer with his pitch count. I would bet on Jones getting an invite to spring.

http://milwaukee.brewers.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20090825&content_id=6613300&vkey=news_mil&fext=.jsp&c_id=mil

Saving the bullpen for the offseason

My stupid satellite came back on after about 30 minutes. So, I got to see most of the game.

A great comeback was spoiled by Macha's stupid idea to apparently save the bullpen by leaving Coffey in for 3 innings and over 40 pitches. What exactly are we saving the bullpen for? The playoffs?! Get real. I didn't hear the attendance from last night, but you can clearly tell it's starting to tail off. Keep trying to lose Macha, that's gonna pack the seats.

Thank God Suppan is back so he can do exactly what he's done all year, suck shit. At least Gagne came out and said he didn't earn his money and he felt bad, so he bought a bunch of free seats for fans. That was only after a half season of sucking. At least he came back and pitched well the whole second half of last year. What has Suppan done in 3 years? Blow goats, that's what.

Looked like Lopez reinjured his hammy. He's been nothing short of amazing offensively. His base running and defense has been a little bit lacking at times, but all in all that was a great pickup. I'd like to see a healthy Lopez back next year. Mainly because I know Weeks is going to come back next year and suck.

I knew right away that Braun was going to be out on the Cameron fly ball in the 12th. That was no where near deep enough. I know we're trying to win, but use your heads. We know the Reds have strong arms in the field. I'd also rather not see Braun having a collision at home. It looked like he jammed his leg a bit.

I'm sick of hearing how great the plays that Cameron makes are and how he won a golden glove. Maybe if he wouldn't keep getting bad jumps on balls he wouldn't have to make those kinds of plays? He should be able to make it to the wall on any normal fly. He seems to be breaking the wrong way quite a lot. Also, What about the play right before that where he couldn't pick up a routine hop? America's most average baseball player... Mike Cameron.

McGehee Needs to be our everyday 3rd baseman next year. He's earned it.

UPDATE: I forgot to mention that I totally predicted Suppan giving up 4 runs yesterday. Mecca lecca hi, mecca hiney ho

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Directv is out again

An open letter to Directv:

Dear Directv,

You mother fucking piece of shit. Go straight to fucking yourself.

Die

Sincerely,

Clown

PS: It's not even raining out, so WTF?!

Tuesday Lineup

Suppan back at it. Hopefully, he can go at least 3 innings and hold the Reds to 4 runs. I know that's asking a lot...

2B Felipe Lopez
SS Craig Counsell
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
3B Casey McGehee
CF Mike Cameron
RF Frank Catalanotto
C Jason Kendall
RHP Jeff Suppan

Bathroom Etiquette


I thought I would post this handy how-to on using the bathroom at Miller Park; however, this goes for any bathroom. I've noticed lately that people seem to have forgotten or never knew how to do so properly. Perhaps they were raised by chimps?

1. When you walk into the bathroom do not announce to everyone "Fuck I gotta piss!" Everyone assumes that you have to piss being that you are in a bathroom. As much as I enjoy vulgarity, that's just dumb.

2. When extracting your weiner you don't need to make some giant arm movement as if it's 3 feet long and then make a grunting noise like it takes a lot of effort. Try not to bump the other person next to you while extracting.

3. Don't use the hole in your tighty whities. If you are still doing this I would assume you are also still wearing Pony high tops as well?

4. If at all possible leave a space between you and other urinal occupants. If there is a space and you chose not to utilize it then you are most likely gay. (not that there is anything wrong with that...)

5. While pissing try to stay as close to the urinal as possible as to not piss all over the fucking floor. I'm not really sure how this happens? Are people standing 4 feet away and making it rain?

6. Do not engage the person pissing next to you in a conversation. If you must talk to someone, under no circumstances should it be about how good the sausage tasted earlier.

7. It is not necessary to make noises like AHHHHHH. It's understood that you are relieving yourself and we all had to stand in line the same length of time.

8. Do not flush the urinal 18 times while pissing. Why the hell do people do this? Do you like the sound of water? Do you also like things that rattle and are shiny?

9. When getting rid of the dribbles 3 or 4 shakes should suffice. If it's 10 shakes or more then you're clearly playing with yourself. While shaking try not to do so in a way that sends droplets of piss sailing onto the face of the person next to you. (This has actually happened to me)

10. When finishing up see rule #2. Repeat.

11. Flush the damn urinal and or toilet. I don't want to smell your asparagus laden piss. Seriously, what the fuck have you been eating?! Perhaps it's time to see a doctor?

And if you were the person who pissed on my shoe at the last Brewers game, go fuck yourself

Thanks!

Clown

UPDATE: I forgot to mention washing your hands. Do I really have to tell you to do this? I'd rather not have you reaching into my bag of Funyuns after you just touched your syphilis infested dick. With all the Ebola, Scurvy and the Bends going around it's kind of important anyway.

Gerut may not be complete trash after all

A fairly good showing yesterday. Gallardo had a shortened game do to pitch count, but still held the Nats to one run. For once he got some run support and was able to get the win. I cant' remember the last time Gallardo actual got the win? He's gotten fucked all year and still does his job every time out. Really only a couple games that I can remember where he wasn't locating his pitches and got lit up.

Gerut really seems to be coming around. Maybe I was a little harsh on him? I don't know what his future will be with the Brewers, but Melvin and others seem to be pretty high on him. It doesn't seem like he came with as much pop as promised. I figured the fact that Melvin seems to only be into HR ball factored heavily into the Gwynn trade.

It's good to see this team hitting again. Granted, it's a against the Nats pitching, but I'll take it. It's amazing how well this team can hit and in comparison how shitty the pitching is. Makes me a sad Clown.

Let's bring it home and make the Reds our bitch. Arroyo tonight, I hope he brought all his "Supplements". His piss probably glows in the dark.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Winding down

It's a shitty feeling to know that we won't be making the playoffs. It seems to sting a little more being that we made it last year and this year seemed to have so much potential. I still say there is plenty of fun baseball left as this is the time of year where if you're not in the race you try and play spoiler. It's almost like a weight is lifted and I can just watch the games and enjoy the home runs and other stuff and not really worry about the end result. Obviously, I would rather be headed to the playoffs, but I'll still enjoy baseball while it's here. It's always a sad day when the season ends and you know you're in for another shitty WI winter with no baseball. Football is no substitute for baseball. (at least for me)

We can still give the Cardinals something to think about for next year. More than anything I just want us to beat the Cubs. Even if it's by 1 game, we still have one over on those shitbags when they come to Miller Park next year.

There is no bad baseball, I love it all. (Except the Yankees. Fuck them)

Monday Lineup

Cameron is back down in the lineup with Catalanotto batting 2nd. I like him in that slot.

2B Felipe Lopez
RF Frank Catalanotto
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
3B Casey McGehee
CF Mike Cameron
C Jason Kendall
RHP Yovani Gallardo
SS Alcides Escobar

Maybe they'll get the Brewers chant going again. I think there are more Brewers fans in the stands than Nats.

What are the odds?

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/columns/story?columnist=stark_jayson&id=4418586

A good article / video discussing Pete Rose and if he'll ever get in the Hall. With all the shit pro-athletes do now a days you would think they would let it go? I don't think gambling even if it's on the team you are managing is anywhere near as bad as half the shit going down today. I can see banning him from managing, but his accomplishments on the field were long before he let it ride.

How is taking roids and getting in any less destructive to the Hallowed Hall? He might have said the wrong things and been an asshole, but how many others in the Hall of fame are complete pricks?

I bet he'll get in eventually. Even if the odds are against him. He needs to parlay the media attention into something positive and get it booked.

Hound from Hell


First let me preface this by saying we do not abuse animals and she is very well taken care of. Probably way too well for all her antics.

The dog pictured above is my girlfriends. Isn't she cute!? Yes, If you consider pure evil cute. This is the worst pet I have ever seen. Biting me, urinating and shitting on every inch of carpeting I own is nothing compared to the following inventory of items she has eaten:

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Underwear - I had a pair of american flag boxers (TMI) which I didn't know she had ate until she shit them out. You could see patches of flags in her shit all over the yard.

Glasses - That's correct, she ate the glass, designer frames, everything.

Jeans - Ate the pockets and ass area out of several pairs of my jeans.

Gum - She must enjoy spearmint

Baseball cards - These were vintage police cards and others from the 80's

Eyeliner sharpener/razor - Not sure if she passed the razors eventually!?

Make up

Trash - I suppose most dogs do this, but we have a special container now to prevent it and she just knocks it over.

Cat shit - She has a taste for the cat poo. If you leave the house for 2 minutes she'll be in the cat box like it's the buffet at Golden Cowrall. She pretends like she didn't do anything, but the litter around her mouth kinda gives it away.

Athletic Tape

Paperback books - Unfortunately, it was not Ethan Frome. What a piece of shit book that was.

A sweater

Tennis shoes

Toilet paper

A potted plant - Including dirt

Drapes

A rug

Candle wax
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If anyone ever offers you a free Australian Cattle Dog aka. Red Heeler aka. A dingo aka. Satan Spawn just say NO! (Unless it's me offering you this dog, then please take it!)

Fortunately, she is 8 years old, which I think is like 65 in dog years? Maybe she'll retire from eating my shit and move to Florida...

Randoms

Parra returned to his erratic self yesterday. I think it was again back to being a head case. He just can't handle being behind early. Shoddy defense nearly put this game out of reach in the first inning. Normally sure handed Counsell and Escobar both missed balls. I think hanging an error on Escobar for the high throw from Parra was kinda bullshit. He probably should have held on, but someone was barrelling into second. I do enjoy Escobars crazy mid air David Lee Roth splits.

What was with Bourgeois and Escobar trying to bunt for hits when they were down by 7? That's not the time to be manufacturing runs. Hit the fucking ball.

I hope Escobar doesn't get into the mode of over swinging. I'd rather see him be hitting for average until he fills in a bit more. It was nice to see the home run though. J.J. who?

I'm surprised it took that long for Braun to get ejected. He barks at the home plate umpires plenty. I guess it's normally while he's walking away, so that's probably the difference. You OBVIOUSLY, can't go rocketing your helmet into the ground.

Bourgeois, Cameron and Gerut... What an awesome oufield. (for little league) I see Cameron is back to his old striking out self after the one good game.

Weird 3pm game today. Maybe we can get a series win. The Nationals can really hit, too bad they are a whole pitching staff away from doing anything. (Kinda like us!)

Get your Melvin Bobble Head this year. It may be a collectors item sooner than you think.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Sunday Lineup

Escobar in the 9 hole again and Rivera catching.

2B Felipe Lopez
3B Craig Counsell
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
CF Mike Cameron
RF Frank Catalanotto
C Mike Rivera
LHP Manny Parra
SS Alcides Escobar

Here we go Brewers, Here we go.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Saturday Lineup

Sounds like the weather is not good in D.C., so there may not be a game tonight. If there is this is the posted lineup.

2B Felipe Lopez
CF Mike Cameron
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
3B Casey McGehee
RF Jason Bourgeois
C Jason Kendall
SS Alcides Escobar
RHP Mike Burns

I don't understand Escobar in the 8 slot at all.

Problematic Punting Predicament


I watched a little bit of the Cowgirls vs. Titans last night. (after the Brewer game of course) Titans backup punter A.J. Trapasso nailed the giant video screen above the field. All I could think was FAIL. If some chump backup kicker hits it I'm sure it's going to be a problem; however, Jerry Jones disagrees stating "You don't need to move it. You gotta be trying to do it. The rule is very clear. You just kick it over." Thats fine and dandy, but why the fuck would you pay over a billion dollars for a stadium and not think about something so obvious? If you haven't seen it, it's pictured above.

Former awesome Packer kicker Craig Hentrich (who we never should have let go) said "I hit it probably a dozen times in pregame," "Probably somewhere around a five-second punt is going to hit it and some of the guys in the league wouldn't be able to punt here if it's not raised, they'd just be non-stop hitting it. I don't know what the people were thinking. I guess they should have tested things out before they put that thing in place. It'll have to be raised."

That's great that there is a rule in place for when it happens, but football games are already long enough with instant replay and commercial time outs, we don't need additional lengthening factors. Especially when they were totally avoidable.

I'm sure this is going to happen over and over. Jones is a stubborn prick. Sorry your billion and a half dollar stadium was designed by morons. Probably move the stupid thing before it gets hit to much and shit starts falling on people. You already had your circus tent practice facility collapse, do you want another catastrophe?

Friday, August 21, 2009

Mulligatawny

Another story about bad soup...

http://www.jsonline.com/blogs/sports/53888907.html

Apparently, Suppan got a bit roughed up in his Nashville start. Here's the line:
3.2 IP, 8 H, 5 R, 5 ER, 0 BB, 3 K.

They make it sound like it's uncharacteristic for tampon to pitch like that. Isn't that basically how he pitches all the time? It's not like he's been a star pitcher the past 3 years. It's not gonna get any better. He's just a bad fucking pitcher.

I'm also a bit sick of this Recycling commercial featuring tampon. He states "Recycle for good Wisconsin!" We signed you, isn't that good enough?

The only reason I don't rip on him more is because he seems like a good guy, but it's getting to that point.

UPDATE: I heard this again tonight and it's actually "Recycle for good Milwaukee" Same same, fuck him.

Kendall Upper Deck Card

I received an advanced copy of the new Jason Kendall card. If this isn't proof he's a hobo, then I don't know what is. The back of the card even says he is from Hoboken, NJ.


Under Pressure... Da na na nana na na


Hall is blaming everything on contract pressure and the fact that the Brewers pointed out his poor play.

"I can still hit righthanders,'' Hall said with a laugh. "I can hit anybody. It's one of those things where, if you say something so long, you might even start believing it yourself. Like I said, it's one of those pressure situations I put on myself. They brought it to my attention. I'd never heard it before."

I'm sure if the coaching staff would have known your skin was made of pudding they would have sent in Bill Cosby to discuss your sub .200 average asshole. Sorry for paying you so much! Our bad. We probably should have just paid you in kodiak tins.


Also, there is a link on that site to checkout Hall's stupid ass tats like the one above. Maybe if you spent more time in the cages and less time getting tattoos of hands coming out of your taint you would be able to hit righties.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Putin - Man of Action

Putin is a master of H2O. In the above photo he is shown doing his new swan swimming technique. Note the $20 Casio calulator watch which assists with streamlining his perfectly toned eastern block physique. His naturally bald head also helps him glide through the water.

(Actually it just looks like his shit is drowning)

Casa de Machado official Poll

I'd like to conduct an official poll. The subject of which is:

What the fuck was wrong with the soup I had for lunch?

A. May have been tampered with
B. Sat in a hot car for 2 weeks
C. Watery, bland taste
D. Burned, hard ass green beans
E. Gave Clown a shit attack

Zingers - 5 Tools

Tool #1 - Chocolaty yummy outer frosting

Tool #2 - Creamy center that explodes on your taste buds like a wave of flavor

Tool #3 - 470 calories of tasty goodness

Tool #4 - Rippled frosting for added texture sensation

Tool #5 - Owning Twinkies

Burple x Pound Puppies = Sqaure mint flavored chips

That dontevenreply.com got me thinking about a couple crazy email chains that I had. I've had the same hotmail account since it's inception in 1996 and it's just my first and last name @hotmail. I get a ton of misdirected email. Usually I'll just ignore it, but if the morons are persistant then I have some fun. I pulled this one out of my archives. I put the guys real email address because he's a fucktard and deserves it.

Date: Sun, 20 May 2007
From: muadeeb@tmail.com> >
To:***********@hotmail.com
Subject: RyderDate

If there is a bus ryder today, just 1 case of water for bus 1. I will also require several bags of tortilla's.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Sun, 20 May 2007
From: Clown
To: muadeeb@tmail.com
Subject: RyderDate:

We just ran out of the triangle flour tortillas... We still have mint flavored square corn ones. I will also throw in a case of Burple.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Mon, 21 May 2007
From: muadeeb@tmail.com
To: Clown
Subject: RyderDate

What's burple?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Mon, 21 May 2007
From: Clown
To: muadeeb@tmail.com
Subject: RyderDate

Burple was a drink mix that came in an expanding container. It started out small but you had to stretch it and add water to make the drink. The drink mix tasted very similar to Kool-Aid and usually came in purple (Grape). The label included instructions for poking a hole in the cap to convert the container into an ad hoc squirt gun after finishing the drink. I think the case is from 1986, but I just drank some last week and it's still good. The kids will love it and it prevents the Bends.

Do you need any tee-ball Hi-Liters?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Mon, 21 May 2007
From: muadeeb@tmail.com
To: Clown
Subject: RyderDate

I just need my normal order. Chips and water.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Mon, 21 May 2007
From: Clown
To: muadeeb@tmail.com
Subject: RyderDate

Are you sure? If you order the Burple I will also throw in a several Pound Puppies. They are a bit dusty and may have Ebola, but they should be fun for the bus "ryder".
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Tues, 22 May 2007
From: muadeeb@tmail.com
To: Clown
Subject: RyderDate
NO.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Tues, 22 May 2007
From: Clown
To: muadeeb@tmail.com
Subject: RyderDate

I found the hexagonal rosemary flavored tortilla chips you requested. They were behind my stash of weapons grade plutonium.

Is your flux capacitor still in working order? We are repairing those now.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No response so I emailed him again


Date: Thurs, 24 May 2007
From: Clown
To: muadeeb@tmail.com
Subject: RyderDate

Look you scurvy ridden cock ramp, I've had just about enough of your indecision.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 25 May 2007
From muadeeb@tmail.com
To: Clown
Subject: RyderDate

What's scurvy? Is that a band from Detroit?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 25 May 2007 (4 minutes after the last email)
From muadeeb@tmail.com
To: Clown
Subject: RyderDate

Calgary was what year of the winter olympics?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

At this point I figured the jig is up and he was just messing with me, so I ended it.

Date: Fri, 25 May 2007
From Clown
To: muadeeb@tmail.com
Subject: RyderDate

You must be the dumbest mother fucker ever. There are like 450 *******@hotmail.com, maybe check the address next time.

PS. Ryder is spelled RIDER twatstank.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next up, the time I pretended to be someones boyfriend and talked about pork.

RIP 2009

No, not that RIP.

Rest In Piece 2009 season. I'm sorry it had to end this way. You were so young and had so much potential. You always made people laugh with your untucking of shirts and player dependent home run celebrations. You may have had some problems, but no one thought it would end this way. We should have seen the warning signs earlier. A mid season intervention could have saved your life. I assure you that you will not be forgotten. Those that live on will carry your torch and try to learn from your mistakes. We will persevere.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's a sad day when you get chumped by the Pirates. A team that has done everything it can to dismantle it's team. I've seen better high school rosters. How many home runs can you give up to this shitty ass team?

As the implosion continues it makes me wonder what happened and what needs to be done. Everyone questioned the starting pitching, but how did the bullpen get so bad? How do so many pitchers totally lose their money pitch? The starting pitching was bad, but this is baseball and you have a job to do. What about back in the day when a closer would be in there for 3 innings? Just seems like pitchers have become pussified. You would think with all the new innovations in sports medicine, training etc. that pitchers now a days would be stronger.

Casa de Machado Poll: What does everyone think this team needs to do in the offseason to field a quality team next year?

I'll start off.

1. Pitching: Pick up an ace and a solid #2.

2. Trade Hart. He's a fucking douchebag and way to streaky. His defense is hot and cold.

3. Gamel to right. I'm sure he'll be playing fall / winter ball anyway, so he can get ready then.

4. Trade Hardy. Way to streaky and runs like he's wearing depends. Escobar is ready.

5. Good bye Cameron. If you can't find a valid replacement move Weeks to center field.

6. Hoffman, I'm not sure on. It's kinda hard to tell his status when he pitches once a month. I do enjoy hells bells, but is he solid enough if we do make the playoffs?

7. Mgeneeheegennee should be our 3B. As long as his knees are ok next year. He's been a real bright spot and has by far earned the job. R.O.Y

8. Re-sign Counsell. Do it. Do it.

There's obviously a lot more. Pet Benatar says Fire away.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Funniest shit ever

I don't know who the hell this guy is, but he is funnier than hell. I had to close my door at clown camp I was laughing so hard.

http://www.dontevenreply.com/

Wednesday Lineup

At this point I think Macha is just pulling names out of a hat to decide the lineup.

2B Felipe Lopez
CF Mike Cameron
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
3B Casey McGehee
C Mike Rivera
RF Jason Bourgeois
RHP Yovani Gallardo
SS Alcides Escobar

Sounds like they are working on dumping Hall off on the Reds for either Aaron Harang or Bronson Arroyo. I'll take Harang, but fuck Arroyo. Like I said, no more Suppans.

Junk Truck'n - Kneeling Prototype truck

As promised, here is the amazing kneeling prototype junk truck that will make seats obsolete. Remember this shit is top secret as the patent hasn't come through yet! Shhhh....




Seats? What are you a pussy? Pop a squat or grab a bucket. In the future no one will have seats. You'll use your hands to accelerate and brake. (make sure you get your tetanus shot first) As you can see the entire floor has been welded back together with giant metal plates. This makes it twice as safe! (if you trust someone's home welding job)



Here is a video of this amazing junk truck pulling a minivan out of a ditch.



video

Junk Truck'n!

How to not know a damn thing about hobo's


If you've never experienced the stupidity that is http://www.wikihow.com/ I highly recommend it for a laugh. There are Articles like "How to breath" and "How to drink a soda". I'm guessing if you don't know how to breath then you probably didn't have the energy to go and buy a fucking computer.

They also have an article entitled "How to become a hobo" which is basically everything you should do to NOT be a hobo. It's kinda long, but here's a summary:

It says to "Take stock of your skills and experience" and lists "Any web-based service such as writing, editing or programming." as something that lends itself to the hobo lifestyle. Last time I checked hobos weren't into high tech shit and the whole point of being a hobo is to not have to work.

Under getting from place to place it states: "Greyhound, in the US at least, offers steep discounts when you purchase tickets a week in advance, and even more for still earlier purchases. Buy tickets at the station for the best deals; web purchases have an extra $3 or $4 tagged on whether the tickets are mailed or "on call". Hobos ride on trains not public transportation. And where the fuck is a hobo going to get access to a computer to get super crazy internet deals?!

It talks about where to take showers. "you can also obtain a membership to a national gym chain and use the showers there (provided you actually work out and maintain your appearance)." Since when do hobos care about their appearance? Yeah, walk your dirty lice infested hobo ass into the local Bally's. Let me know how that works out.

I would say my favorite though is this: "Bring a camera, preferably a digital one with large memory, and/or keep a journal. You'll always like to remember your travels while you're on the road." Make sure it's digital! You'll want to keep a record of all the times you get raped.

Nothing about scruffy dogs, stick and bindles, trains, burning barrels, BEANS?! Fuck this, Clown's gonna do some editing.

The wheels on the bus go falling off, falling off, falling off

The Crew has now dropped 2 in a row to what is basically a minor league team. Yet again a team scores 5 runs against our shit ass pitching. When the season started everyone knew we had a very thin pitching staff, but who thought it would be this bad? It's become apparent that all the analysts that picked this team to suck were right.

It's amazing what a couple months can do. At the end of June this team looked like a well oiled machine and now it looks like a wet fart. I wonder how long before people start jumping ship and there are less than 20k for a weekend game? With Hardy down in Nashville there is no one to keep the whores with JJ fuck target back tattoos happy.

Time to re-tool. Unless this team is planning on winning 25 in a row, I'm officially calling this year over.

Very disappointing. Clown is sad.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Tuesday's Lineup

Rivera back behind the plate. Kendall's bean situation appears to be critical. It's probably Dave Kerwins fault.

2B Felipe Lopez
SS Craig Counsell
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
3B Casey McGehee
CF Mike Cameron
RF Frank Catalanotto
C Mike Rivera
LHP Manny Parra

9 games back from the Cards. Their GM acquired the necessary pieces and we did not. It's really amazing the team they have become since the trade deadline.

25 of our last 41 games the opponent has scored 5 runs or more. No offense is going to overcome that. Melvin better trade for some real pitching in the off-season not mediocre shit like Weathers or Vargas. No more middle of the rotation guys either. Get an ace level guy or get the hell out of town and take your porn stache with you.

Bart Farve's going to play

Apparently, Brett has changed his mind and is going to play for the Vikings. I didn't see that coming...

If It wasn't obvious before it sure is now that he just wants to avoid training camp. It's becoming more and more difficult to be a Favre supporter. He will now come into Lambeau, the place he played for ages and most likely get booed. That is what I would call a destroyed legacy.

I hate Ted Thompson (that's a different post), but at this point I can see how dealing with Brett was impossible. Yes, it took me this long to realize it. I guess it was just the kid in me remembering Favre and all the amazing things he did while I was growing up. Favre was really the only quarterback that I knew. I do remember Don Majkowski and even before him, but that never had the same feel.

It really is a terrible day when you discover that your hero is a fucking turd.

Thanks for the memories Bart. Now go fuck yourself.

Ugliness, It's no secret

This commercial for Heartsecrets.org is getting on my nerves. Did they do a casting search for the ugliest women possible? I mean, some of these women look like men and others just look like turds. There's even a women who has absolutely no neck. I don't understand why they play this during Brewer games.

If you haven't seen this terrible commercial, you can watch it here:

http://www.heartsecrets.org/Content/flashintro.html


I especially love the women who says "Are ju list-ening?" Sounds straight out of Cudahy.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Appendicitis - Fart Attack?

As I was shopping for a car tonight my girlfriend received a call from her brother informing her that her mom had appendicitis and was in the hospital. When she inquired if the appendix would have to be removed her brother responded with "I don't know. She probably needs to fart or something." "That's what I do when my stomach hurts."

Bear in mind this is the same person who dropped massive ass at Thanksgiving dinner and then informed us that "My stomachs been rolling all day and I had to stop the crane to let it go."

Thanks Dr. Mike.

Monday Lineup - 100th POST!

We opened our doors on July 16th and just one month later we are at 100 posts and just over 3000 hits. (I'm sure 99% of those are me hitting refresh) Hopefully eveyone is enjoying the craziness.


Today's lineup:

2B Felipe Lopez
3B Craig Counsell
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
CF Mike Cameron
RF Frank Catalanotto
C Jason Kendall
RHP Carlos Villanueva
SS Alcides Escobar

Go Brewers!

Bill Hall of Fame - A look back


Memorable moments of Mr. Hall of Fame

December 28th, 1979 - Future Hall of Famer William (Bill) Hall is born.

September 1, 2002 - Bill Hall of Fame makes his major league debut.

Mothers Day - 2006 - Bill Hall of Fame hits a 10th inning walkoff using the special pink bat. Using the Hall Pink bat equation he instantly gains 100 lifetime homeruns.

Mothers Day - 2007 - Bill Hall hits yet another pink bat home run adding an additional 100 lifetime home runs to his total.

July 21st, 2008 - Bill Hall hits a go ahead home run in the 10th inning. He stares at the home run for roughly 25 seconds before running the bases. The Brewers go on to win.

July 22nd, 2008 - Bill Hall hits his second go ahead home run in as many days this time in the 10th inning. Once again he stares at his HR and this seems to really piss off Pujols. The Crew once again goes on to win the game.

2009 - Bill Hall bats below .200 and is relegated to basically being 3rd string

August 12th, 2009 - Bill Hall of Fame is designated for assignment.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I started this post off as a joke and then I started to remember some of the good times. (the few good times) In the end Hall did give us some exciting baseball at times. He had a knack for hitting home runs when they counted. Too bad he couldn't hit anything else.


(I still hate him though)

Dyksta's solid gold dog


As part of Lenny Dykstra's filing for bankruptcy he listed his German Shepard as having a value of $10,000. Is it bred with Lassie? What's that you say Lenny Dykstra's dog? Lenny's money and life are trapped in a well?!

He also only lists one source of income even though he still pretends to be a high rolling financial advisor. A $5700 MLB pension.


http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0812092dykstra1.html

Miller Park - Packer Traysh


Yes, I meant to say "Traysh" just like the white trash in the area say it. I'm guessing the morons at the BREWER game on Friday night wearing Packer gear talk like this as well. Why do people do this? Wrong sport, wrong stadium, wrong idea. I asked one of the idiots wearing a Chmura jersey in line to use the bathroom "are we at a Packer game?" He responded "Maybe!" No, we're not shitbag. Nor are we hanging out in a hot tub with underage girls at a sweet 16 party.

They all also have the attitude that baseball is some kind of filler sport until football starts. In fact, I think this whole state has that attitude. Just like preempting the Brewers radio broadcast for Packers pre-season football.

The morons that wear Badger red gear on days we're playing the Cardinals or Astro's also piss me off. Are you retarded? Do you not realize you are wearing the same colors as the opposing team? I swear during the last Cardinals series I counted hundreds of people with Badgers shit on! DUH.

This state doesn't deserve a baseball team.

Really? Bill Hallman update!

There was a very interesting comment posted under my "Oldest Rookie Ever" post. If you missed the original post it went like this:

I was messing around online looking up different stats. I was checking out oldest rookies for some reason. It came up with the following entry:Bill Hallman DOB: 1867 -03-31 Debut: 1988-04-23 Age 121

WTF?! How could I have missed the debut of a 121 year old man in the major leagues?! My first thought was that they got the name wrong and it was actually Jamie Moyer.
Sadly, as it turns out this was an error. Bill Hallman (No relation to Bill Hall Of Fame) made his debut in 1903 at the age of 36.

I then received the following comment:

"Actually that is wrong also. Wrong Bill Hallman. The Bill Hallman born in 1867 was my Grandfather and he died in 1920 when my father was 11. He was in baseball long before he was 36. You can see more about him in Wikipedia or at this link http://www.hallman.com/harryhallman/baseball/"

The link he posted is interesting as well. It has a PDF of Bill Hallman's actual baseball contract from 1891! He made a whopping $2800.00 per year. How times have changed...

Sounds legit to me. Maybe he just did a search on Bill Hallman and my site came up? I would assume it's the Harry Hallman guy at the root of the link who commented. I'll send him an email and see if I can get some more info.

Real baseball players ancestors on the Casa! Awesome!

Ride my see-saw

shoulda, coulda, woulda had a sweep. Not being able to put away the Astro's really shows where this team is at as a whole. Weathers is pitching for shit since coming on board and our bullpen has nothing left in the tank. A bullpen that started the year out as one of the best in baseball has turned into the worst. DiFelice and Stetter have lost the edge on their respective out pitches.

8 games back at this point is probably the nail in the coffin especially with no bullpen. Is Melvin's job secure if we miss the playoffs? At this point I think anything is possible.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Speak of the devil

Mike Jones is being promoted to Nashville. His numbers aren't awesome, but I think it's time to sink or swim. It would be huge if either him or Rogers could make it up by sometime next year. I have more faith that Rogers will eventually make an impact.

http://www.jsonline.com/blogs/sports/53305927.html

Kendall's bean situation sorted out

Kendall and Catalanotto (with his awesome theme music) in today's starting lineup.

Today's lineup:

2B Felipe Lopez
3B Craig Counsell
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
CF Mike Cameron
RF Frank Catalanotto
C Jason Kendall
RHP Mike Burns
SS Alcides Escobar

Friday, August 14, 2009

Brewers most likely not getting Doug Davis

Tom H. reported it just a little bit ago on Jsonline.

Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't get Melvin's hard on about trying to get him. I understand there isn't a plethora of available starters available, but come on. There has been way too much chatter about Doug Fucking Davis.

Jack was here

A nice display of power yesterday as the bats came alive. Fielder with 2, Rivera with 2 and Braun with 1. After the game Macha made a comment that made it sound like Rivera would be playing today as well. I would have to say that he has earned the playing time. Fair is fair with the winds of change, so if Kendall is not performing then he's probably not going to play nearly as much. Obviously, there is some type of issue with Kendalls bean situation. If they are going to give Rivera more playing time I would rather not see it with Gallardo pitching.

It's kinda hard to comment on Escobar when you're listening to the game. It sounded like he made all the routine plays. There may have been one that Fielder had to dig out. He got his first hit and scored a run, so that's probably more than Hardy would have done.

Gerut seems to be coming around a bit, but he still sucks ass. I think it will take a lot for me to be on that band wagon. Perhaps we should have traded Gwynn for a bag of bats instead.

I think I counted 5 fuck-ups for Uecker yesterday. He's totally losing it.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Ryan Braun - 5 Tools



Tool #1 - Sliding to catch balls because sliding is awesome

Tool#2 - Hitting awesome home runs

Tool#3 - Basking in the glory that is Ryan Braun's awesomeness

Tool#4 - Obviously, being awesome

Tool#5 - Definitely, being awesome

Shit bag Cubs fans strike again

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090813/ap_on_sp_ba_ne/bbn_phillies_victorino_apology

It's kind of a joke that they pretend this NEVER happens in such a wonderful town as Shitcago. Just last year Braun got a bunch of beer and other shit thrown on him in the outfield at Wrigley. It happens all the fucking time. Constant fan interference and generally stupid antics.

The best part of this story though is when Victorino says "I don't think he'd be walking too far if something like that happened in the streets. It's just not something that you do" What the fuck does that even mean? Is it common in the "streets" of Philly to throw beer on people instead of shanking them? Regulate...

Arroyo is a dope(r)

I can see where Arroyo is coming from, but I wouldn't have come out and said all this. I hope you drink a lot of fluid because there will probably be a few pop-piss tests in your future.


At this point I think they should just have pre-doping records and juiced up records. It's not fair to legends who achieved amazing stats without HGH and other supplements. Then lift the regulations and let the festivities begin. I'd love to see someone hit 100 jacks in a year and no, I wouldn't give a shit if they died at 50. Especially this asshole:


Dick Reeks is shocked


In regards to the changes made yesterday injury prone flick bat fucktard Rickie Weeks had the following to say:

"I'm shocked. I don't have the words to (express myself) right now. I'm frustrated," He then declined to answer further questions.

Frustrated with what? The fact that your buddy Hall sucked ass for over 2 years and we finally cut the fat? Frustrated that JJ. Hardy got optioned because he was raking at a .229 pace? Frustated that the organization that way over paid you 3 million this year is sick of losing?

I think a better question is how do you get the same injury in both wrists? Were you whacking off with wrist weights and decided to go see the stranger?

How long did it take you to come back from your last wrist injury? Take heed dick. Your days are numbered. This year was a fluke. You know it, Clown knows it and soon everyone will.

Adios Muchacho. No soup for you.

Thursday's Lineup

Either the Brewers are trying to throw random shit out there that might work or Chris Bosio brought up some of that good shit from Nashville and they spent all night listening to Allman Brothers records. You be the judge.

2B Felipe Lopez
3B Craig Counsell
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
CF Mike Cameron
RF Jody Gerut
C Mike Rivera
LHP Manny Parra
SS Alcides Escobar

UPDATE 1:17 - Some pitcher dude from the Padres makes a debut = automatic Brewer loss

Broken Record

Broken record, Same old song and dance, boy meets base, boy touches base indecently, boy get's stuck on base; however you want to put it. Escobar on 3rd, bottom of the ninth and average joe strikeout comes to bat. After about 3 fastballs right down the middle that he should have hit to Lake Michigan, Cameron popped one up. Game over - 7 1/2 back now.

Escobar is fast as hell. He would have been safe at 2nd even if the throw wasn't off. According to Macha the players have the green light to steal when they feel they can get a good jump. If that's the case I expect to see a lot more running. The entire dynamic of this team will be changed if get some speed going. Back to the basics and manufacturing runs.

Sometimes I feel Macha is too timid. With Escobar at 3rd last night and Cameron at the plate I would have called for the squeeze. They wouldn't have been expecting it. Good teams do shit like that to win games.

Rumor had it that we put a waiver claim on Doug Davis. Sounds like the snakes aren't interested in dumping him. I really think it's just time to ride this out with what we have. Start planning for next year and do some seriously re-tooling in the offseason. Even if we make a run at this what will our starting rotation for the playoffs be? Gallardo, Parra, Looper, Villanueva? Even if you get Suppan and Bush back does that make it better? Gallardo and Parra may be able to get it done, looper has lost it and the rest is a joke.

Day game today. Hopefully we can salvage one. Go-Go gadget Escobar.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Eddie Money says The Crew is shakin...

What a day. I do feel bad for Castro. He was with the Brewres for 18 years, and he's obviously the scape goat for what has turned into a terrible pitching staff. Castro was not the one to provide the arms, so some of this blame has to be put on Melvin. I do think Bosio will help. I think a pitching coaches job is to give his players confidence and point out mechanical issues. Bosio is a great guy with an understanding of what his duties really are. I think he will bring a whole new feeling to the staff.

I've been waiting for 3 years to see Escobar and time is finally here. The job is his to win or lose. If he hits the ball better than .229 with his defense and speed I think Hardy will be done. I do hope that Hardy rakes in AAA so his value in trade comes back up. I can't see them making this move and not having the future in mind.

I think everyone can figure how I feel about Hall. I actually called this in a post a few days back. I think it's funny that he hit a home run last night and get's dumped today. He would be stupid to not except the assignment to Nashville. If he get's released outright I think his days of playing pro-ball may be over. I have this feeling he's going to end up in Japan. I heard they are crazy for Bobby Brown over there.

Too bad Lorenzo Cain got hurt earlier in the year. I would assume he would be coming up instead of Bourgeois if he had played the whole year. Bourgeois has been solid this year, but I haven't heard anything about his defense. He can't be worse than Hall and his stupid fucking basket catches all the time.

I'm starting to wonder if Macha's job is secure. I don't think anything is out of the realm of possibility at this point. Could be a one pump and dump.

I hope Escobar and Bourgeois get up in time for the game tonight. I'm really excited for tonights game.

More Breaking news! HALL DFA'd!!!!!

Hall DFA'd!

Wow.

I'm trying to get a grasp on everything that's happening today. Attanasio must be in a bad mood.

Breaking News - HOLY FUCK

Hardy has been sent to AAA and Escobar has been called up. Yes, I'm serious.

Bill Castro has been fired and Chris Bosio has been brought up to take over coaching duties.

Finally some shakeups. This might be exactly what this team needs.

Hall - Pink Bat Equations

When figuring out Bill Halls home run totals you need to take in account the pink bat factor. A pink bat home run is obviously worth more than a standard home run. I have created the following equation to determine Halls actually home run totals.

Pink bat home run = 100 home runs

There are other factors to consider as well such as Size of dip wad in ounces and Amount of time spent admiring said home run. Let's add those into the equation:

2 pink bat home runs = 200 + 100 standard home runs + 10 extra home runs for admiration x 4 (the weight in ounces of his average dip) + 5 for his Bobby Brown look alike points

Using this equation Bill Hall has hit an amazing 1245 home runs. Assuring his place in the Hall of Fame and the title of greatest baseball player ever.

Now you see why I call him Bill Hall of Fame. I suggest you do the same.

Terrible

What a terrible game all around especially the defense. The hobo obviously did not eat enough beans before this game. I didn't see the actual play as I was looking through binoculars trying to determine who was up in the pen. The bases were already loaded with no one out, so you can't blame that all on Kendall. Not loopers best game.

I got angry when some fat white trash with a fupa behind me starting yelling about how much Kendall sucks and he shouldn't be in baseball. He was naming off some stats that weren't even close to being factual. Something like "Kendall has the worst OBP in baseball!" I turned around and yelled "Jason Kendall is awesome. He's a fucking hobo!". The fat white trash (who smelled like bologna and stale doritos) had no response and shutup the rest of the game.

I'm not sure what the deal was with Lopez tanking that ball. It looked like he was right there and just pulled up. (Not sure how it looked on TV) Maybe his hammy was bothering him again? Or maybe this team has just given up.

Every time Hall gets a hit I cringe. I don't even want his home runs or hits. At this point I would throw his home run back if I caught it. I don't know if I have hated a player more than Hall ever. There was a play early in the game where if Hall hadn't stood there dropping the wad of chew out of his mouth and staring at a dribbler hit he would have been safe.

There was quite a lot of booing last night. You really never heard that at Miller Park until the fair weather fans started coming. Booing isn't going to help anything.

I think I'm going to punch the next person that says "These are teams we should beat. They are under .500". Guess what shit for brains, WE ARE UNDER .500. They are probably saying the same thing about playing us.

This team is terrible now. It's becoming difficult to watch.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Oldest Rookie Ever

I was messing around online looking up different stats. I was checking out oldest rookies for some reason. It came up with the following entry:

Bill Hallman

DOB: 1867 -03-31 Debut: 1988-04-23 Age 121

WTF?! How could I have missed the debut of a 121 year old man in the major leagues?! My first thought was that they got the name wrong and it was actually Jamie Moyer.

Sadly, as it turns out this was an error. Bill Hallman (No relation to Bill Hall Of Fame) made his debut in 1903 at the age of 36.

Sweep the Padres!

This hasn't seemed to work so far, but it's time for us to go on a run!





Tuesday Lineup

Cameron still in the 2 hole makes me a sad clown.

2B Felipe Lopez
CF Mike Cameron
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
3B Casey McGehee
RF Bill Hall
SS J.J. Hardy
C Jason Kendall
RHP Braden Looper

In other news Chris Smith got sent down and Nick Green got DFA'd to clear a spot on the 40 man for Weathers.

See you at the game. I'll be the one dressed like a clown kicking children.

Jack Zduriencik - Half Genius


Jack Zduriencik was the Director of Scouting and or the Special Assistant to the GM from 1999-2008. During that time he orchestrated some amazing draft picks such as Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder. He also believed that college level pitching had the scabies.

He was really into drafting prep' pitchers. Let's examine two of the most notable high school picks, Mike Jones and Mark Rogers:

Mike Jones had multiple shoulder injuries right after the draft and a Tommy Johns not long after. He was dropped from the organization, then resigned in 2007 and invited to spring training. Obviously, that didn't pan out.

Mark Rogers has also had shoulder injuries requiring surgery causing him to miss both the '07 and '08 seasons. He is just now getting back into the swing of things, but was limited in his pitch count this year.

The ship has sailed for Mike jones and I'm not going to hold my breath for Rogers. These are two very good reasons to draft college level pitching instead. Pitching in high school you're not throwing nearly as much as in college. If you're injury prone you will most likely show signs of that in college. It also helps with maturity. (See our friend Jeremy Jeffress who enjoys the ganja a bit too much)

We did draft Yovani Gallard and Manny Parra under his watch, so obviously he knew talent; however, I think that if he would have made more college level picks we would be much deeper in system for pitching. It's interesting that in the post Jack Z. draft of 2009 the Brewers selected 5 pitchers in their first 10 picks and only one of those was a high school player. Several of these college level players are already making an impact in A ball.

Hopefully, some of these new pitching prospects can make it through the ranks while we still have some of the hitting talent that Jack Z. brought in. Jack is now in Seattle making waves right away bringing in several players including Russell Branyan. Looking at Seattles '09 draft selections it appears that everyone was college level, but that may be his head of scouting making the calls.

Hey Jack, how about Weeks for Bedard straight up?

Monday, August 10, 2009

Putin - Man of Action

Nothing says macho man like a shirtless equestrian adventure. Go ride your horse on a nice safe trail pussy; Putin rides on rocky mountain tops. Horses + Danger + Putin = ACTION!

Idiotic JSOnline Comments

tliebbs
Monday Aug 10, 2009 9:05 AM
Anyone see Macha's comments saying he didn't SEE the questionable pitches for strikes? What is he doing then?
Do you expect Melvin to watch every pitch of every game? Maybe he had to take a shit.

Big Pappy
Sunday Aug 09, 2009 6:48 PM
UNBELIEVABLE! Davis Weathers will be the Brewers savior!Genius Doug Melvin has done it again!!
I'm sure Melvin is truely sorry that every deal he makes can't be as big as the Sabathia trade. Why make any trade at all unless it will make a HUGE impact right? Sometimes little deals make a big difference douche. Oh, and nice name. Way to think on your own.

Excessive Patriotism


When did singing God Bless America in the 7th inning start? At some point they started playing it on Sundays this year, but now teams are doing it every day. I have no problem with the national anthem at the beginning of every game. I take my hat off and honor our great nation with pride, but is it really necessary to sing GBA too? Are they going to start doing the pledge of allegiance as well? I feel as though I should be earning some kind of Webelo merit badge at the game.

I understand that baseball is deeply rooted in America's culture and history; however, I'm going to a sporting event not a rally against the British.

I'm actually surprised myself that I have this view. As anyone that knows me will attest I am normally very patriotic. Maybe it's just that I don't like that song. I 'd rather hear Beastie Boys - No Sleep Till Brooklyn. Infact, that should probably be our national anthem. How kick ass would it be riding into battle with that playing?! Hell Yeah.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Geoff Blum is an asshole


It doesn't matter if we play in Houston or Milwaukee or who is pitching, Geoff Blum kills us every time. At this point I would just walk the prick. He has 7 HR's this year and it seems as though all of them are against the Brewers.

I feel Terrible for Gallardo. Another quality start with zero run support. There was nothing left in the tank after blowing their load yesterday with 12 runs. You can't lose games this close with your ace going. Again a ton of RISP early and nothing to show for it. The hitting dried up after the 2nd inning. Everyone complains about the pitching, but the hitting has let us down just as much. That was a perfect strike on Cameron the strike out queen, but a bit outside on Braun; either way you gotta be swinging in the 9th with 2 on 2 out and 2 strikes.

How many times do we have to see Richie Sexsons mark on the flag pole? Yeah, it was a great shot, get over it. Why would they not go clean that shit off anyway?

Minute Made Park is an asshole too. As I've stated before it's time for some regulations on parks. Why not just get Rambo to put in some traps with punji sticks or moving steps you have to jump onto like Super Mario Bros.? Fuck you and your from concentrate orange juice.

6 games back now. I see a fat chick warming up her pipes. Although, it's Milwaukee so that's fairly common...

Brewers acquire David Weathers

From the Reds for a player to be named later.

In other news, Bill Hall of Fame still sucks ass.

Sunday's Lineup

Same as yesterday except The Hobo is catching.

2B Felipe Lopez
CF Mike Cameron
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
3B Casey McGehee
RF Bill Hall
SS J.J. Hardy
C Jason Kendall
RHP Yovani Gallardo

Let's hope Yo can rebound from his last start.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Random Thoughts

Jesus Colome Brings the heat, but not the sizzle. You can't just pump fastballs into the middle and hope hitters are late. He appeared to have very little movement on anything. It's great when you can throw 97MPH, but if that's all you do eventually they'll catch up to it and light you up. Let's hope his stuff was limited by the jitters.

Casey Mgeheeneegeenee has been one hell of a find. He needs to be our 3B for the future. Send Gamel to winter ball and have him get ready for the outfield.

Corey Patterson is hitting .429 since joining the Sounds. I have a feeling that Hall may actually be cut before the end of the year. I realize it's a huge hit for salary carrying into 2010, but when he plays he just hurts the team so what's the fucking difference? Time to end this.

Hardy and Hart need to go in the offseason. I was really hoping Hardy would get hot before the end of the year so he would bring more in trade. I don't know how much a SS hitting .229 that runs like he has a load of shit in his pants will bring. I'm pretty sure I could out run him with my floppy shoes while juggling.

I'm excited to see our short stop for next year, Escobar. If we continue to suck you'll probably see a lot of him in September. With speed like that Macha better start running. That would be a complete waste.

Saturday lineup

Brewers
2B Felipe Lopez
CF Mike Cameron
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
3B Casey McGehee
RF Bill Hall
SS J.J. Hardy
C Mike Rivera
LHP Manny Parra

As an aside, Ken Macha was quoted as saying, "I put this lineup together for my main homie Clown from Casa de Machado. This one is for you G."

Friday, August 7, 2009

Friday lineup

2B Felipe Lopez
3B Craig Counsell
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
CF Mike Cameron
RF Frank Catalanotto
SS J.J. Hardy
C Jason Kendall
RHP Carlos Villanueva

Hardy back in at SS. Good luck Carlos!

Swindle claimed

R.J. Swindle was claimed off waivers by Tampa Bay.

Apparently, he still has an option left, so he'll probably go straight down on the farm.

it's amazing how a pitcher that is so good in AAA can be so terrible in the majors. I will miss the crazy Bugs Bunny ball. It was like I was high on ether.

Jesus called up for the Crew...


and Swindle moved. R.J. Swindle sounds like the name for a curly mustached villain from a Hanna-Barbara cartoon, not a pitcher. And he basically pitches like a villain from a Hanna-Barbara cartoon, so there you go.

From jsonline:

The Brewers made a change in their bullpen today, calling up right-hander Jesus Colome and designating left-hander R.J. Swindle for assignment.

Colome was signed a couple of weeks ago after being released by Washington and was assigned to Class AAA Nashville. In four outings there, he was 1-0 with a 0.00 ERA and two saves, with three hits and two walks allowed in seven innings, and 11 strikeouts.

Colome, 31, was 1-1 with an 8.40 ERA in 16 games with Washington when he was released. In 324 career appearances with Tampa Bay and Washington, he is 19-26 with a 4.65 ERA and six saves in 25 chances. In 403 innings, he has allowed 392 hits and 213 walks with 311 strikeouts.

Swindle was called up recently to give the Brewers a second lefty in the bullpen but it doesn't matter which arm he throws with because he has been awful. In three different stints this year, Swindle allowed 12 hits and 12 runs in 6 2/3 innings, for a 16.20 ERA, with three homers, four walks and eight strikeouts.

Swindle allowed at least one run in each of his six outings.

The Brewers have 10 days to trade Swindle, release him or have him take an outright assignment to Nashville.