Friday Rant

I know I have a lot of car / truck features on here, but I have to bitch about something else. First off take a look at this picture. Can you see what I'm about to go off on?

What the fuck is with people that put the stickers all over their license plates? I've been seeing this more and more lately. The person above not only put the stickers all over, but somehow has two 2009 stickers. Was the first one stolen and you finally got a legit one? (suspiciously, my 2009 sticker was stolen in this same area) This particular car was in the ghetto where I work. I think the license plate is suppose to say "Moola" or "Moolah" but this person didn't know how to spell it. Nothing spells Moolah like a ghetto fucking intrepid.

I digress... I have a theory that anyone putting the stickers all over has to be in one of these camps:

1. You are illiterate even with pictures and not able to read the instructions on the back of the sticker pack that clearly states where to place the sticker.

2. You are trying to "Stick it to" the man. The man has forced you to pay to register your vehicle and you feel this is unjust so you place the stickers improperly on purpose to get back at johnny law.

3. You are gay and trying to make a rainbow on your license plate. (not that there is anything wrong with that)

4. You like sudoku way too much.

5. You are afraid that the new sticker will not stick over the old one. You also don't realize that the glue on the back is so sticky it could hold a turd to silicone.

6. You think it's funny. You also drool a lot, breath through your mouth and have Nascar stickers or flames on your minivan.

Being that most people have the month sticker in the proper spot I think the majority of people fall under #5. Maybe there are other reasons? If you are someone who puts the stickers all over I would LOVE to hear your reasoning.

For future reference these are the clear and concise directions for applying your new registration stickers. These are on the back of every sticker pack. Not rocket science is it? No, I don't work for the DOT I just hate stupid people.

New Packer Logo?

http://www.jsonline.com/news/milwaukee/61391642.html

This turd wants to update the Packer logo. This is a terrible idea and he should be shot for even suggesting it. The Brewers had the best logo in sports until they changed it for this God awfull retarded logo we have now. Let's spell out the word Brewers or just put an M and have some shitty ass wheat around it. Real inventive.

If it's not broken, don't fix it or chances are you'll fuck it.

Bike Helmets piss me off

I hadn't realized how prevalent the wearing of bike helmets had become until riding on some trails this past weekend. I thought it was just kids wearing these stupid fucking things, but now there are adults and even elderly doing so.

I have now road a bike for around 30 years without ever getting seriously injured. I've crashed into trees, parked cars, poles, buildings, ect. and I'm fine. (fine is a relative term). I don't even understand how you hit your head while riding a bike? Are you doing endo's because your double chin weighs 200 lbs? Are your reflexes so slow that you can't get your arms extended to brace your fall? Do you drool a lot?

Did you wear a bike helmet when you were a kid? No, because people weren't giant pussies back then. Back in the day a father would tell their kid to rub some dirt on it and shut the fuck up or they would give you something to cry about. It's all a marketing ploy to sell stupid helmets. They make it seem like you are a bad parent if you don't force your kid to wear one, then you buy one to set a good example. Why not just put your kid in a coat of armer or one of those bomb defusing suits? Don't fall victim to the Helmet Shim-Sham.

I have never in my life known or heard of anyone getting seriously injured on a bicycle besides getting hit by a car. If you get hit by a car I think you have more pressing issues then if you were wearing a cheap piece of plastic on your head. Chances are your legs will be busted long before your head.

I also can't get over the old people I saw wearing this shit either. They probably go home and cook with straight lard, but a bike helmet is the best way to prolong their life? These are probably the same people that fall prey to the West African email scams.

These types of helmets don't even look like they would do anything unless you were dropped directly on your head. If you really want your kids to be safe from all the "danger" of a 5 mph bike ride then get them a skate boarding type helmet that will actually protect something.

God has better shit to do

And on the seventh day God said Let Pujols hit a double!

This is what I am led to believe every time Pujols or a number of other players give props to the G.O.D for a hit. Like God, Jesus, Allah, Buddah, jobu or whatever higher power you believe in really gives a shit if you hit a home run? Should I pound my chest and point to the heavens every time I make a kick ass balloon animal or juggle 5 midgets? I think that would look just as silly.

I understand that you want to thank God for the talents he has given you, but It's gotten way out of hand. Now we have players making the sign of the cross and kissing a crucifix before each at bat. Do you think God is up there saying "Right back at ya slick!" Get a fucking clue you weak minded tools. God has better shit to do like playing GTA 3.