Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Wednesday Lineup

Escobar and Gerut are in.

2B Felipe Lopez
RF Jody Gerut
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
3B Casey McGehee
CF Mike Cameron
SS Alcides Escobar
C Jason Kendall
RHP Jeff Suppan

Witrado Sucks

Still waiting for the lineup for tonight. Of course Witrado is on the beat this week, so it will probably come out a minute before game time. He's probably too busy washing his skull cap and deciding which Yankee he loves today.

Clowns in Space

This guy is a billionaire clown just like me!,2933,557600,00.html?test=faces

Kind of sounds like a weirdo when he talks about tickling people when they are sleeping. Creepy.

New Feature - Terrible songs that I like

By all accounts I listen to terrible music. Most people would say that I am stuck in the 80's, but that's not true because I listen to terrible music of today as well and from all genres. I guess I feel that the majority of music other people listen to is crap. Let's see what you think...

Today's song is:

Firehouse - Reach for the sky

How can you not love this song?! I won't say it's a masterpiece, but it's damn close. (yes, I'm serious) I like a lot of Firehouse, but this one is probably my favorite.

See, I totally listen to Rock'n ass music.

Putin - Man of Action

In this photo Putin can be seen holding his new model rocket. Similar to Russia's nuclear arsenal it will not be fully under his control and will fly up 100 feet and explode. His next test will be to send up a gerbil that he pulls from his ass.


Narveson pitched well again. The strike zone was a lot tighter this time around. There was nothing doing on the whole left side of the plate. Narveson struck out Spilborghs at least 3 times before he walked; however, neither team was getting the calls, so fair is fair. Narveson should have been left in to clean up his own mess in the 6th especially with our now injury thinned bullpen. Coffey is so overworked now it's a joke, so let's bring him in again? Narveson has shown in his 3 starts this year that he is capable of getting out of jams and actually throws better pitches under pressure. I don't like the way he has been handled thus far. I hope he heads down to winter ball somewhere and keeps working on his control. He could be the feel good story of next year like Casey this year.

The defense was atrocious and was partly the cause for several runs. I'm not sure if Hardy and Lopez are beefin or what? The first time Lopez tried to track down the runner instead of flicking to hardy for the double play was bad enough, but then to try and do it again after the first debacle? It just seems to me that he isn't focused and hasn't been since arriving in Milwaukee. His defense has been historically much better than what he has shown. There's probably about a 1 in 100 chance they keep him over weeks, but if they do I hope he turns it around defensively.

Kendall must have eatin a 100 ounce can of beans before the game as he jacked the game tying home run in the 9th. I was getting a bit angry when BA kept talking about Cameron's walk and how important it was that inning and skipping over talking about the home run. Yes, without Cameron being on base it probably would have been game over, but Kendall is the one that hit the fucking home run. If it weren't for America's most average baseball player hitting into 2 bases loaded double plays earlier in the game we wouldn't have been in that situation.

Stormy Weathers has been really erratic since joining the crew. He's nearing the end of his career and the way this year is turning out for him I would not be surprised if he just retires. I don't expect to see him back with the Crew next year.

The Rockies can flat out rake, so I fully expected a slug fest this series. I believe the Rockies magic number is now 3, so they can still clinch in this series.

Let's hope the Tigers can finish off the Twins. Why? Because I hate the fucking Twins fans almost as much as the Cubs.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Idiotic JSOnline Comments

These comments were in regards to the post with tonights lineup:

Tuesday Sep 29, 2009 4:24 PM
Who cares? Is it Monday night yet?

Why the fuck are you reading the lineup if you don't give a shit? Another fat head that only cares about football.

Tuesday Sep 29, 2009 4:25 PM
LOL, Narveson vs. Marquis? The Brewers have a 3.4% chance of winning this game. GAME OVER!

Did you sleep through Narveson's last appearance or do you just like being a debbie downer asshole? You have a 3.4% chance of acquiring a 3rd brain cell.

Tuesday Sep 29, 2009 4:31 PM
2B Felipe Lopez

RF Corey Hart
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
3B Casey McGehee
CF Mike Cameron
SS JJ Hardy
C Jason Kendall

looks like next years starting lineup

Really? You think that they are trading Weeks, Escobar and Gamel? Crack kills, but in your case it only destroyed your common sense.

Tuesday Lineup

Narveson on the mound. It's going to be tough to follow up his last performance, but let's hope it's at least a quality start. I have a good feeling about Sheet's Jr.

Megeeneeheegeenee still battling through knee pain. He will be having surgery in the offseason to remove bone fragments.

America's most average baseball player in center and Hardy at SS.

2B Felipe Lopez
RF Corey Hart
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
3B Casey McGehee
CF Mike Cameron
SS JJ Hardy
C Jason Kendall
LHP Chris Narveson

Random searches ending here

There was a search for the hobo convention that linked someone here. After checking the referring page it is with great pleasure that I report Casa de Machado is the #1 google search for "hobo's convention". It's even above the website for the actual convention! Nice.

Casa de Machado, your #1 source for random craziness and hoboism.

Week's calling the shots?

Some interesting comments from this article in regards to Weeks switching to center field.

Weeks chimes in:

"I would never go out there," Weeks said. "I've talked to (general manager) Doug (Melvin) about it and it's squashed, and that's all that matters."

I don't want you on the team much less in the outfield. Judging by how long it took you to figure out second base (still ongoing) it would take you a decade to judge a liner in the field. I'm glad that you are calling the shots now! Who the fuck do you think you are? You're lucky you're not playing in A ball.
Randolph has some things to say:

"Rickie is a young second baseman who hasn't played the position for a long time," Randolph said. "It's rare to find a guy with that athletic ability and his power play that position. That, to me, is intriguing.

"It'll be nice to see what kind of second baseman he can be."

Where is this athletic ability? I'm so sick of hearing this shit. People with the ability they have been saying Weeks has eventually show it with performance. You can't continue to say he has all these abilities when he continues to suck ass. He's not a young second baseman anymore! He's been in the league for years now and has already shown us what he's got. DICK.

"He was hitting .272 with a .340 on-base percentage with nine home runs and 24 runs batted in when he was injured."
Holy shit! Are you serious? Stop the presses and get ready to board the train to Cooperstown!

I guess I didn't even know what his stats were when he went down. Looking at this he was already starting his inevitable decline back to the Dick Reeks everyone knows. Not impressed.

Time to dump Weeks while some other dumbass team might still be fooled by his "abilities". I'm not saying Lopez is the answer either, but I would take him in a heart beat over the ever hyped never producing Dick Reeks.

Unfortunately, Melvin is still the GM, so it's all but guaranteed that the Rickie Weeks experiment will continue.

If Weeks magically has this breakout season next year that everyone thinks he will, I will buy a Weeks poster, take a picture of me kissing his ass and post on this site. Never gonna happen. (a breakout season is not .272, .340 unless he jacks over 30 HR's)

Final Tailgate

It was a beautiful day for any outdoor activities on Sunday. I couldn't have asked for better weather for the final tailgate of the year. It did start raining later, so the post tailgate was killed.

We got in line 15 minutes before gates opened and got the best parking I've ever had. Front row behind handicapped.

Our bean situation was top notched. Look at the awesome chunk of bacon floating on the top. Bacon makes everything taste better. Baked potatoes with butter, sour cream, cheese, bacon and chives, brats and Italians were also on the menu. The guys tailgating next to us had some type of disposable contraptions that would not get hot. (I don't think they were flamedisk) Being the good tailgate neighbors that we are we cooked up their stuff on our grill as well. Good food karma is on it's way.

The ticket kiosk outside was still offering tickets back in April. Perhaps they utilize Gamel's hobo time machine technology?! The time on it was also messed up. Maybe it was sad that the season was over and having emotional technical difficulties?

This is terrible. Someone did not finish their beans. They will probably get scurvy now. There are starving Hobo's everywhere that would kill for a pile of beans like this.


The Crew finished up the season at Miller Park with a loss, a fitting end to a disappointing season. I will say that I was one of the people who drank the Kool-Aid in the beginning of the year and believed that our hitting could overcome the lack of pitching. For a while there it looked like our pitching was a lot better than people had predicted, but it didn't take long for that to come to an end. Injuries and below average achievement put an end to what was expected by a lot to be a repeat of last year and another playoff appearance.

Think about why you are disappointed with the season. Is it because we didn't make the playoffs in back to back years? Is it because we were not competitive enough to stay in the race until the end and make for an exciting finish? Was it because the Cubs had a better record? As you are asking yourself these questions think back to earlier in the decade, then back to the 90's. Would a season like this year be as difficult to swallow in 2003 after the previous 106 loss season? I think the point I'm trying to make is I'm glad I'm not happy with the outcome of this year and you should be too. I've come to expect more since Attanasio took over the team. More than anything that's a testament to the level of baseball that Mark and his team has been able to bring back to Milwaukee.

Thank you Mark... Now go get some pitching and bring us a winner in 2010.
UPDATE: I kinda worded this poorly. I do realize that the season is not over. I meant the end of games at Miller Park.

Junk Truck'n - Junk Van'n

This van came flying up on my ass in the fast lane. (I was going about 80mph) Normally I move over right away, but this guy was being a complete jag. He went around me and then got back into the fast lane just in front of me where he proceeded to drive 72mph. It was then that I noticed the reason for his erratic driving.... His van was on fire! The flames were engulfing the entire back of his van! Wait, those aren't real flames... Clearly, this person is flaming in a different way.

Where do you even find fake flames like this? I can only guess at some store in Cudahy. He was probably in a hurry to get home and drink some Hamms and beat his wife with a bowling ball.

It's time to get ill

Clown and Bob Cooper have felt like ass the past 3 days after being at the game Friday night. The roof and all the panels were closed and after they lit off the fireworks and drove the Harley around the air was terrible. You could still see the smoke from the fireworks into the 6th inning. Something in the air just wasn't right. Bob Cooper went to the doctor and found out he has viral bronchitis. I can only imagine that I have the same.

Obviously, Miller Park did not give me this, but I feel the environment in there Friday night made my lungs susceptible to it. I would recommend that in the future if the roof AND panels are closed and it's that stuffy in there don't light off the fireworks and drive a damn Harley around for 10 mintues. I didn't understand why the panels were closed anyway. It was only drizzling. It's nice to have a roof, but sometimes they get carried away with when to close it up.

Was anyone else at the game and feels like shit?

Friday, September 25, 2009

Friday Lineup

Rivera catching, Escobar at short.

2B Felipe Lopez
RF Corey Hart
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
3B Casey McGehee
CF Mike Cameron
SS Alcides Escobar
C Mike Rivera
LHP Manny Parra

See you at the game. Only 3 chances left to see us lose this year!

Doug Melvin - 5 Tools

Tool #1 - Blaming your own inability to sign solid pitching on the inexperienced pitching coach that you hired.

Tool #2 - Continuing to see the "potential" in Rickie Weeks

Tool #3 - Signing mediocre players to multi-year 8 figure contracts

Tool #4 - Drafting injury prone, drug addicted and unproven high school pitching

Tool #5 - Growing a funktastic pornstache

BONUS!: Tool #6 - Being an egotistical douche and having your own bobblehead day

EXTRA SUPER BONUS!: Tool #7 - Looking like my asshole neighbor Bob Cooper

Random shit out of a box

Found this Fanfoto ticket from June. Back when spirits were high, the season was young and Bill Hall was manning 3rd base... I guess some memories are best forgotten.

The picture is still up there, so let's have some Friday fun and play 'Where's Clown'. Which photo do you think is me?!

Goto Select June 28th and Gallery 1

Post your guess in the comments.

New Packer Logo?

This turd wants to update the Packer logo. This is a terrible idea and he should be shot for even suggesting it. The Brewers had the best logo in sports until they changed it for this God awfull retarded logo we have now. Let's spell out the word Brewers or just put an M and have some shitty ass wheat around it. Real inventive.

If it's not broken, don't fix it or chances are you'll fuck it.

Things we learned about Charlie Kelly

-He's never eaten a pear (scratch that - just one pear).
-Also blueberries and strawberries.
-He's never left Philadelphia. Wonders if people are dicks outside of the city.
-He eats stickers ALL THE TIME!
-He also might sing if you ride in the car with him.

(I'm sure I'm missing some - good episode last night, bozo).


When this homestand started I just assumed we were going to lose a majority of the games playing the level of teams coming to town. It doesn't seem to take the sting off. I was really hoping to finish the year strong and have something to build on for next year. It's actually getting difficult to watch even for me. It appears that the new found good pitcher in Suppan was short lived. He's back to completely sucking. Thank God we have him for another year!

The best part of this game was Kendall's flop at 3rd base on his triple. It looked like he couldn't decide whether to slide or not and came in really awkward. His arms flailed around like a rag doll. It almost looked like he passed out reaching the base. I was glad to see he was ok. I heard some other hobo's stole his beans. This would explain his lack of energy.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Witrado's Thursday Lineup

Witrado posted the lineup along with this gem:

"In case people don't follow this kind of stuff (don't know why you would), Prince Fielder is the only player in the major leagues to have played in all of his team's games, which obviously makes him the only player to have started all of his team's games."

I want the last 10 seconds of my life back asshole.

2B Felipe Lopez
RF Corey Hart
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
3B Casey McGehee
CF Mike Cameron
SS Alcides Escobar
C Jason Kendall
RHP Jeff Suppan

Vegas Underground

This is kinda crazy. You would never know walking around in Vegas that this is under your feet.

Doesn't Vegas get the monsoon season? You would think these people would be washed away all the time.

Surfs up... Wheres the bed?

Idiotic JSOnline Comments

Thursday Sep 24, 2009 12:43 PM
So Chris Narveson is now the great hope? What happened to Capuano?

How long is your beard Rip Van Winkle?

Thursday Sep 24, 2009 1:19 PM
Sharkey,In the words of and tone Rob Burgondy, "I don't even know what that means?!"

I believe the name you're looking for is Ron Burgundy...

Thursday Sep 24, 2009 12:59 PM
I feel the real thing that has made or broke Brewer pitching was the umpires. With the kind of pitching we had an umpire with a generous strike zone was our friend and when we had them we would do much better. That seemed to be the case yesterday as well. Pitchign well against the Scrubs is no easy task as Bush and Looper Ia m sure will attest to.

Yes, this is why every team in the NL has bad pitching... Why not blame leprechauns? The yeti? I blame Nickelback. Bush and Looper would have gotten lit up by 12 year olds.


Narveson had one of the best performances of any pitcher for the Brewers this year. The 5th inning brought a tear to my eye. He made the Cubs look silly striking out 3 in a row. Some of the best location of pitches I've seen in a long time. I've mentioned this before, but it's worth repeating; he really reminds me of Sheets. He seems to be getting better every time he's out there. I have to mention again the possible Bosio connection. The last time he was up he was up Castro was still around and he was terrible. He tried to nibble and didn't use his fast ball effectively falling behind on the counts. This time around he's like a different person. Let's hope it continues. At one point in his career he was a major prospect for the Cardinals, so this could be his redemption. I know it's a bit early after only a few starts, but you can tell he's got great stuff.

I couldn't believe when Macha took him out with 2 outs in the Sixth inning. I didn't see his pitch count, but the way he was throwing it couldn't have been above 80. I realize Macha was probably trying to protect him (I didn't hear his comments afterwards), but you need to let him finish that inning. What kind of message does that send your young pitcher? Hey, great job out there, let's put in one of our overworked relievers and almost blow it. Stupid.

Melvin on the radio this morning said they have to decide whether to go after hitting or pitching... Really? Are you fucking kidding? DONE with you.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Wednesday Lineup

Gerut sure is getting a lot of playing time. Like I said, get used to it because he's on the roster next year. Narveson can't pitch any worse than Looper or Bush.

2B Felipe Lopez
RF Jody Gerut
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
3B Casey McGehee
CF Mike Cameron
C Jason Kendall
SS Alcides Escobar
LHP Chris Narveson

E-Z Does it

On our way into the stadium last night we noticed there was a Bears EZ-UP still setup in the parking lot. I remember commenting "That's stupid. Someone's gonna wreck that shit". As we were leaving we noticed the same EZ-UP had met the expected fate. It was flipped over ontop of a car from Illinoying. Right or wrong, whatever, the point is if you are at an away game of a hated rival probably don't leave your teams EZ UP hanging out in the parking lot. I can imagine only a worse fate for Brewers popup outside Wrigley.

New Feature - Random Searches ending here

It's fun to look through the stat logs and see what people searched on to get here. Well, it was fun until today when I saw this:

22 Sep
10:37:15 AM
corey hart shirtless

Seriously?! When the fuck did I EVER talk about anything like that? I may have talked about him being Dickless, but never shirtless. What's also terrible is they came from which appears to be French Canadian. Actually, that explains a lot...

Another thing I don't understand is when they searched for it this is what they saw:

Casa de Machado -
Posted by Clown at 7:42 AM 0 comments. Labels: Bosio, Corey Hart is still a turd, Random crap .... Corey Hart, Bill Hall, and Prince Fielder last year. -

Why after seeing the discription of him being called a turd would you continue to the site when you are looking for shirtless picks? Perhaps next time you should BING and decide fucker.

Putin - Man of Action

I see forever when I look in your eyes
You're all I ever wanted, I always want you to be mine
Let's make a promise 'till the end of time
We'll always be together, and our love will never die
So here we are face to face and heart to heart
I want you to know we will never be apart
Now I believe that wishes can come true
'Cause I see my whole world
I see only you!!!

Bob Uecker's Sausage Tangent

I left the game early yesterday as I couldn't watch anymore, so I listened to the rest of the game on the radio. Ueck went on a 10 minute discussion on how people can cook sausages by sticking them into a car cigarette lighter. At least, I think that's what it was about, sometimes it's hard to tell with him. Of course Provus was laughing it up when he discussed being able to fit 2 sausages into a semi trucks lighter port.

"You know how a cigarette lighter pops out when it's ready? Well, watch out in the back seat when the sausages are done!"

It was not quite as good as when he went on a 10 minute rant a few years back about how good the new fish fry at Miller Park smelled and how bad he wanted one. I think he actually went and got one between innings.

South Side Rizzide

I don't even feel like talking about last nights game, so I'll talk about what transpired before hand.

I met up with Chorenzo Chorizno and another friend at a park and ride before heading off to the game. We discovered that Chorenzo Chorizno had forgotten the tickets at his house, so we set off through the heart of the south side to retrieve them from his abode. What I saw on the way there reminded me of a 3rd world country.

The first thing I noticed was the guy at the bus stop with a duct tape eye patch. Not just one strip of tape, but a shitload of tape in a cross pattern. I don't think this person realized that the Walgreens right on the corner sells real eye patches cheaper than a roll of duct tape. He looked at me as I looked at him. Well, with one eye of course...

We drove a bit further and came upon a store called "Wine - Shoes". There have been times in my life that I have needed shoes or wine, but never at the same time. This must be the smallest customer base ever. Maybe they should sell wine and eye patches? I see a larger need for that in the area.

After the wine and shoes we saw a guy in a parking lot with roughly a 4 foot pony tail and a Batman shirt. This was the first of 2 Batman shirt wearing south siders I saw within 2 minutes. I know they are a bit behind the times there, but did Batman just get released?

There was a guy walking down the street perhaps attempting to survive the perfect south side storm wearing full on fisherman leg waders. He also had white hair, beard and mustache just like the Gortons Fisherman.

Next up was the bum going to town on the trash buffet. It looked like he had found a bag of donuts and was enjoying what appeared to be a bear claw. No difference between that and buying day old bakery.. Right?

The white gangsta wearing matching sweat shirt and pants rounded off the trip nicely. It looked like possibly some type of skull pattern. I heard south side chicks dig guys with matching track suits.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Tuesday Lineup

Megeeneeheegeenee out for Counsell. Gerut in RF.

2B Felipe Lopez
3B Craig Counsell
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
CF Mike Cameron
RF Jody Gerut
C Jason Kendall
SS Alcides Escobar
RHP Dave Bush

Still with this Kendall batting above Escobar shit?

See you at the game. Unfortunately.... Maybe I'll have another good rant tomorrow? I'll try not to farmer blow pretzels on people.

Giant Buck

A 30 point buck was taken in Fond du Lac.

Even more interesting than the Buck itself is this part of the story:

The brothers and a group of family and friends toasted with beer and homemade wine as they celebrated what is being called the "deer of a lifetime."

Homemade wine? Are you in prison? Did you make it with a sock in your toilet? Who the fuck makes wine at home?

Crazy hicks.

New Playoff System

The Brewers were officially eliminated from playoff contention last night, as if it really matters at this point. What does matter to me is what Macha had to say about it:

"When you get to the day when you’re eliminated, you always look back,” said manager Ken Macha. “But the fact remains we led this division for a long time".

I wasn't made aware of this new 'We led the division for a while' playoff spot. Is that something new this year? It's a shame they didn't have that the past 18 out of 25 years when we led the division at least once every year. Shouldn't we get a world series ring for that?!

You've now NOT led the division for far longer. Congrats! (See previous Melvin post for your finger trophy)


Thanks to Mr. Del Taco for the pic of this passed out Cubs fan. In her defense, she is probably used to drinking Jacob's Best.

Maybe Mr. Del Taco can explain the pic. It appears her great friends have left her there.


The end.

Anger and Flying Pretzels

Last nights game was tough to watch from the start. Looper got lit up like a Christmas tree from the time he hit the field. His worst performance that I can remember as Brewer. It's hard to tell exactly what the problem is from the stands, but I'm guessing he wasn't keeping the ball down and serving up meatballs. The back to back jacks by Lee and Ramirez was hard to handle. The Cubs fans in attendance were very vocal at that point. I would say it was 60-40 Cubs fans? Maybe even 70-30. There were a lot, that's for sure. The multiple double plays that the Crew grounded into also took the wind out of the home team fans sails.

They announced attendance of 34,000, but it looked like about 27,000 in the seats. I guess I just assumed this series would be sold out because it's the Cubs. I guess when both teams suck, that's what happens.

I was in Club level last night with some people I do business with. There was a dipshit Cubs fan sitting a row in front of me that kept slamming on the score board, basically the whole fucking game. I really wanted to yell something at him, but I was with people and I didn't want them to think I was insane. Do we come down to Wrigley and bang on your scorebo.... ohhh, I forgot. Your stadium was built in 1730, so you don't have any of this new fangled technology. Let me explain it too then... Inside that nice scoreboard are electronics. When you bang the shit out of electronics they usual cease to work. Kind of like when you wash your Zubaz too many times and they cease to fit. Got it? Maybe try pulling your pants up too.

I had a bloody mary and it was crazy hot. It was like they put a whole bottle of Tabasco in it. Maybe they were pissed that people were ordering that on a Monday night? Well, you got your revenge because my ass burns like hell this morning. Thanks.

I also had a pretzel. While I was eating it I laughed and I inhaled part of it. After coughing for a few minutes it became lodged in my nose. I tried breathing hard to get it out, but that didn't work. After a while I kind of forgot it was there and got used to it. I coughed again a while later and the chunk of pretzel came flying out and hit the person sitting in front of me in the head. He looked around and could not figure out what had happened. I'm not sure what the proper etiquett is for this situation? Should I have tapped him on the shoulder and said "Hey man, I had a pretzel piece stuck in my nose and it came flying out and hit you in the head. Sorry, about that..." He had a Twins jacket on anyway, so fuck him. I think I still have salt pieces stuck in my nose today because I keep sneezing. Awesome.

There was an annoying women behind me that said it was her first baseball game ever. She was like 60 years old. How is that possible? Anyway, she kept yelling stupid shit the whole game. For instance, after the Cubs scored the first run in the first inning she was yelling "Take him out! Take out the pitcher! Get him out of there! He's terrible! Who is this?!" Also, every time there was a fly ball she would yell "Call it! Call it in the air! Who's got it!? Catch the ball!" She would yell this on a foul ball that was already out of the field of play. Even on a ball that came straight back into the loge level. DUH.

UPDATE: I forgot to mention that the service in the Club level was terrible. I waited about an hour for a beer and a burger platter. I'm not sure if they had to drive to Nebraska to slaughter the cow and wait for the beer to ferment? The service is usually pretty good, so that was disappointing. The dumb bitch that knew nothing about baseball seemed to get her booze fast.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Monday Lineup

Hardy back at Short, Looper pitching

2B Felipe Lopez
RF Corey Hart
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
3B Casey McGehee
CF Mike Cameron
SS J.J. Hardy
C Jason Kendall
RHP Braden Looper

See you at the game. Go Brewers!

God I hate Cubs games...

Cooper Canned

Cecil Cooper has been terminated by the Astro's as Manager. Not very surprising as the Stro's have kinda sucked the last few years. Whether it was his fault or not, managers usually take the brunt.

Someone should fire Bob Cooper. He's a soak.


Casa de Machado definitely frowns upon murder by baseball players...

Maybe baseball should hire Julio Machado to go around to the young players and talk to them about throwing away their careers by being a dumbshit gangsta punk.

The whole flat brim thing has to go as well. There needs to be a rule about a certain amount of curvature in brims. This is baseball not an audition for the movie Colors.

Packers look like shit

If the offensive line is that bad I hope Rodgers gets used to being on his ass. 2 games and 2 pathetic displays of blocking. They couldn't stop the rush of Starburst. Isn't Tauscher still unsigned? I'm just saying....

That was some piss poor time management and a very ill advised throw to the middle of the field at the end. I didn't understand that at all. Why would you even call a play with seconds left and no timeouts where all your available wide's aren't in the endzone or sideline? Also, Rodger's needs to know how much time is left and not make that throw if the receiver broke off his route.

Then again, I was only watching during Brewer game commercials.

Junk Truck'n!

This person is getting the awesomeness of caked on mud from off roading confused with the metal eroding properties of salt. It's also very important to let everyone know that your junk truck is a FORD. There is a huge difference between driving a 1981 Ford pickup with 700k miles vs. a Dodge or Chevy. (Beware of imitators) The icicles hanging off the bumper act as mud flaps.
I have it on good athority that the owner of this vehicle had a choice between this and a 1999 Explorer. This was the obvious choice.

Amish - BUSTED

Spotted some Amish folk this weekend. They seemed very out of place, and were walking towards all of the stores on Hwy. 83 in Delfield. I looked around, but did not see a broken down horse and buggy, so I can only assume that they were going to one of the stores. Maybe they were going to the Walgreens to get a perscription for Dysentery? For whatever reason the Amish remind me of Oregon Trail. Do Amish people have real money? They are self reliant, so how would they score cash? Maybe the chick was hooking and he is her Amish pimp? I wonder how much an Amish whore costs? Maybe they would take a trade of some clothes that weren't made from felt and dick hair.

I thought the Amish weren't allowed to use technology, but this guy used the shit out of the walk signal button. BUSTED!

You can't really tell in the picture, but the guy looked to be about 14 and had a full on crazy beard. I wish I had a full beard at that age. I totally would have voted.

Stupid Commercials

During the Giants vs. Cowgirls game last night there was a commercial for "Great moments in tailgate history". I thought to myself (and possibly outloud) "This is going to be funny". Not so much. It was one of the stupidest commercials I have ever seen. It didn't even make any sense. Your wagon breaks down on the way to the first football game in the 1800's, so you pluck some chickens? That's it? I thought for sure they would fight off attacking indians, bang Pocahontas, use a wagon wheel as a roulette wheel, a rib cage for a grill grate and drink beer out of someones skull. THAT would be a great moment in tailgate history.

I should write commercials.


Gallardo pitched well in what will be his final start of the year. I think they should have just shut him down before if they felt his arm was in jeopardy. If the only reason for him to pitch is for a personal record than I totally disagree with that. I understand that these types of records are important to players, but in the end I think it can hurt the team. Prince went almost 30 at bats without an RBI trying to break Coopers record.

Megeeneeheegeenee continues to impress. It will be a travesty when he doesn't win the rookie of the year. He's out of the running because the Brewers are.

I still hate Corey Hart. What's with his haircut? He looks like Alfalfa now. God, I hope we dump his ass in the offseason.

Crowds have really died off. It looked empty yesterday for the Melvin Bobble day. Probably because people blame Mevlin for the collapse. It's a stupid idea to have a GM bobble anyway. I'm sure if it were a player bobble yesterday it would have been a sellout. What kind of crazy egotistical maniac has his own bobble day anyway? They should have had 5000 of them with a special button that played 70's porn music.

5 in a row, I'll take it. The pitching has looked very good. Suppan is looking the best he has as a Brewer. Only one factor has really changed and that's the pitching coach. Bosio needs to be back next year. Ever since I saw Bosio with him throwing a bullpen session he has pitched great. I don't think it's a coincidence.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Sunday Lineup

Bench lineup.

2B Craig Counsell
RF Corey Hart
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
3B Casey McGehee
CF Jody Gerut
C Mike Rivera
SS Alcides Escobar
RHP Yovani Gallardo

At least Escobar is back in.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Extremely Offended

I watched the end of the Cubs / Cardinals game and noticed after the walk off hit by Brendan Ryan they untucked his shirt. This was way overboard and once again showed that the Cardinals are nothing but punks. Is that suppose to be some kind of dig? Go fuck yourself twatcocks.

I also noticed that it was the 9th inning with runners at the corners, score tied 1-1 and not a single person in New -New Busch Stadium was standing. Miller Park would have been fucking rocking if that were the case. St. Louis fans BLOW.

Magic number now at 4 for the Cards. It's going to be brutal to watch them in the playoffs again.

Saturday Lineup

Hardy at short again. This makes zero sense. Fuck you Macha.

Suppan's been pitching well and it's the damn Astro's for Christ sake. If this were 1996 they would be an allstar team....

2B Felipe Lopez
RF Corey Hart
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
3B Casey McGhee
CF Mike Cameron
SS J.J. Hardy
C Jason Kendall
RHP Jeff Suppan

Friday, September 18, 2009

Hobo Gathering

Some type of Hobo gathering. Check out the pictures after the rambling text. Man are these people dirty. I especially love the caption "Tex rolling one". Nice DDP shirt too... BANG! I can't imagine why the cops would be harassing you with this many transients in one place.

If you go back to the root of there is a ton of stuff with lots of other pictures of dirty hobos. I did not see Kendall in any of the photos..

Friday Lineup

Hardy at short. I guess he has to play once in a while.

2B Felipe Lopez
RF Corey Hart
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
3B Casey McGehee
CF Mike Cameron
SS JJ Hardy
C Jason Kendall
P Chris Narveson

I like Narveson so far. He reminds me of Sheets for some reason. Maybe it's his release point and his finish? He also doesn't fuck around like Sheets.

I don't think the baseball Gods could have planned any better the Astros with Cooper at the helm at Miller Park and Prince ready to break his record. It would be awesome if it were a walk off bomb.

New Feature - Shuffle IPod song

I'm going to hit shuffle on my IPod and see what comes on. Here we go...

AC/DC - Have a drink on me

I couldn't think of a better song to come on at 3:45 on a Friday.

Almost Miller time.

Idiotic JSOnline Comments

Thursday Sep 17, 2009 11:18 AM
They must be showcasing Escobar for the inevitable trade.

Yes, after being untouchable until this point they are going to trade him away now that he has proven himself. Who the fuck would play SS after the inevitable trade of Hardy? dumbshit.

Thursday Sep 17, 2009 11:25 AM
Cat can barely handle rightfield, what crazy stuff are you smoking thinking he can play CF, wow.

WTF are you even talking about? I don't recall Catalanotto making a single bad play yet. I'm not saying he is our CF of the future or should even be on the team next year as he was only a stop gap, but don't rip on his perfectly good defense fucker.

The Puff
Thursday Sep 17, 2009 12:42 PM
I agree we should trade McGahee now while his value is high.Imagine if we traded JJ after his all-star year, or Hart last year, or even Hall 2-3 years ago. I like Casey, but he is...1.Slow 2.Right handed 3.Average D at best. These kind of guys are easy to find.The problem is, he's cheap for a few more years and the type of player the Crew likes to keep around. The window is closing on Hardy and Hart to get anything of value because they are getting close to FA.The Brewers don't need everyone to hit 20 hrs! We are extremely lucky to have Braun/Prince. Just put cheap, high obp guys around them that can field...Trade the rest and spend the extra cash on PITCHING

What you're saying is that we should trade away any player that has an allstar season while they still have value? I do believe we've tried that. See the past 25 years.

You say you like Mcgehee and then you proceed to rip him apart. If you're gonna rip on Megeeneeheegeenee at least spell his name right. Let's examine this stupidity one step at a time:

1. A player like him is easy to find: This might be the worst comment I have ever seen. I would very much enjoy punching you in the fucking head.

2. He is slow: He's got a knee injury asshole. How many 3rd baseman in the league are stolen base threats especially while hampered with tendonitis?

3. He's right handed: You're totally correct. Any right handed player isn't worth shit. We should chop off their hands like in Riyadh. Braun is terrible, so were Yount and Molitor. Fuck right handers. All baseball players should be left handed then you could have your perfect lefty world Hitler.

4. Average D at best: Do you even watch the games or are you too busy sucking your moms dick? Mcgehee may not have started out with a golden glove, but he has been playing stellar D the whole second half. He was also shuffled around to various positions before the break which I can only imagine causes some brain farts defensively.

I think my head is smoking.

Random shit out of a box

It's the greatest baseball player to ever live, Craig Counsell. I don't recall throwing this card into my random box of shit, but I do remember how I acquired it...

After an embarrassing failed attemp at getting a set of baseball cards from the 5-0 at the stadium, in which the female cop insulted and berated me for several minutes going as far as asking me if I needed my diaper changed. (really professional you fucking whore) I decided to persue a different route of getting a set.

I was at the Gehl Club and had just gotten into a verbal altercation with some white trash fat fuck and his 7 foot tall ginger friend who I told "Take your giant ass back to Timbuctoo". I was walking towards the exit and noticed a kid had just walked away from a table and left his set of cards. That child learned a valuable lesson that day; finders keepers, losers weepers.

See you in hell.

Isn't it Grand

It really is amazing what consistent playing time can do for some players. Gerut jacked a grand slam in yesterdays win against the just as shitty Cubs. I was really on his ass earlier in the year with several posts, even going as far as comparing him to a pile of trash. Normally I don't just hate players if they are in a slump, but if they have a bad attitude as well. ie. Corey Hart, Bill Hall, and Prince Fielder last year. Gerut sucked, but I never really hated him per say. He always seemed to be a good guy that kept his nose to the grind stone. I'm glad he's turning it around and making the Gwynn trade look much better. Gwynn would never have been a star for the Brewers. His heart was in San Diego and that's where he should play.

I think Bush's pitching can be more attributed to his mindset than anything else. I'm sure the impending birth of his second child weighed heavy. Pro athletes are still human and I'm sure at times it is difficult to seperate work from personal life just like any other job. Either way, he battled through and got his 2nd win in a row after coming back from his arm injury. In the end 4 runs is right in that curve where a team with this much hitting shouldn't have issues overcoming it. We knew from the start that the hitting was going to have to step it up with the starting rotation that we had.

Coffey came in and took care of business again. He's looked much better in his last 2 appearances and says that he found something with his timing and his fixed the glitch. He's really been a work horse this year and I hope for big things next year. If Hoffman doesn't return he would be the obvious choice to close. He's already got his theatrical entrance down with The Ultimate Warrior music and sprinting to the bag.

Thursday, September 17, 2009


It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia new season starts at 9pm tonight on FX. It's by far the funniest show on TV ever. The Green Man you see at different sporting events is from the show. It's the most non-PC offend everyone and everything show ever. Check it out.

It's hard to find episodes online, but here's a pretty good one:

Thursday Lineup

I was going to break something if Escobar wasn't back in the lineup today. Enough with the Escobar / Hardy platoon. Hardy did nothing in AAA and has done nothing since coming back.

Get used to Gerut in right because I have a hunch that's how it will be next year.

Gamel at 3rd for the first time since his recall. Send him down after mismanaging him and destroying his confidence, then call him back up and let him sit. Good plan fuckers!

America's most average baseball player protecting Fielder? Are we trying to save the legacy of Cecil Cooper?

2B Felipe Lopez
RF Jody Gerut
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
CF Mike Cameron
3B Mat Gamel
C Mike Rivera
SS Alcides Escobar
RHP Dave Bush

Melvin not going anywhere

According to Attanasio rumors of Melvins termination are crap. He says he still has full confidence in Melvin. I was actually really surprised when I read this. There would be no reason for him to bullshit at this point. The season is clearly over, so he wouldn't just be saying this to keep spirits up or anything like that.

Macha may be a different story. Melvin was on WTMJ this morning and once again stated that he will evaluate Macha after the year and make a decision then. Melvin has been supportive of Macha all year, but that to me sounds like there is about a 50/50 chance he'll be back. Seems like Macha has kinda lost the team at this point. We don't need another Yost infection.

Nothing to see here

Last night was the first game this year I have not seen, heard or been at all year. The new house where I am bowling does not have additional TV's besides the scorekeepers. I feel empty inside similar to how I feel all winter. This was only the 3rd game I have missed in 2 years.

Even without seeing the game I can tell from the game notes that it was one hell of a performance from Escobar. He's making the decision at SS easier every time he takes the field. James Jerry Hardy should probably start packing his things. Don't forget the Astroglide and eye patches.

Lots of rumors about trading Megeeneeheegeenee. I wouldn't say that he is untouchable by any means, but you better be getting something good for him. I wouldn't trade him just because Gamel is waiting for a job. Megeeneeheegeenee has proven himself and Gamel has not.

Prince seems to be having one hell of a time getting to 126. They really need to stop talking about it and just let him play. Plenty of games left, so there is no need to even worry about it. Even if by some crazy chain of events he doesn't get #126, who really gives a shit? He's already proven himself this year to be one of the best in the league and has tied Brewers great Cecil Cooper. No need to press.

Day game today. Bush on the mound. Go-go crazy bugs bunny curve.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

JJ. Hardy Eye Patch Day

Now that JJ is back I feel the Brewers should have an eye patch day in his honor. Why would they give eye patches? Well... A while back a conversation between myself and Bob Cooper went something like this:

Clown - "I bet Hardy can bang any chick he wants."

BC - "I would venture to say that he could not only bang any chick he wants, but do anything to them as well"

Clown - "Anything hey. Like blow it wherever he wants?"

BC - "Pretty much. Nose, face, eye, whatever"

Clown - "The eyes are a risky proposition. A direct shot would probably burn and they wouldn't be able to see for a while"

BC - "I bet he gives them eye patches after he's done"

Clown - "They should totally do a JJ. Hardy eye patch day at the stadium. Chicks 18-24 get a free eye patch. They could do a contest where one lucky winner gets to have JJ put it to good use!"

BC - "I think the age group should be 14-20"

Clown - "Wow. Go dig in some trash"

Wednesday Lineup

Looper throwing, Escobar at short, Megeeneegenee at 3rd.

2B Felipe Lopez
RF Corey Hart
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
3B Casey McGehee
CF Mike Cameron
C Jason Kendall
SS Alcides Escobar
RHP Braden Looper

I think this is the lineup that will win. It's gonna happen.

Putin - Man of Action

Putin - "Hey, at least I'm not riding with Kennedy!"

What? Too early?


That was probably the worst display of pitching I've seen in quite some time. 12 walks and 2 hit batters with bases loaded isn't going to win very many games. It was clearly a bad decision to sit Gallardo for his last start. Gallardo has shown in the past that any time sitting means total rust. Either shut him down for the season or let him fucking pitch. The only person left in the bullpen that was still pitching good was Coffey; now he has totally fallen apart as well. Did you find yourself yelling at the TV "Just throw a fucking strike!"? I know I did. Actually, I might be the only one watching this shit anymore...

Seems like Escobar will make the play of the year and then tank a ball he should have gotten to without a problem. He should have been able to handle the bounce from Prince as well. It was a crappy throw, but how many crappy throws has Prince dug out? Escobar needs to work on his consistency and also his throwing accuracy. A great arm isn't worth shit if you can't hit your target.

Zambrano is a cry baby little bitch. I'm so sick of his bullshit pouting and generally bad attitude. You pitched for shit so why not get angry at everyone else, start a fight with the catcher or destroy a Gatorade machine with a bat. A-HOLE.

Fuckudome's bad route on the Escobar triple was Cameronesque. Except it wasn't a playoff game and he didn't make excuses.

I don't give a shit that Drew Barrymore was at the game. They kept showing her as if she is some big name. The last thing I remember her doing was the Maybelline makeup ad where it looked like someone beat her with a bag of oranges. E.T. was 27 years ago and so was your career.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009


Here I thought fielder was bad with the "yeah, You knows".

Hooked on Phonics yo...

Tuesday Lineup

Braun back in LF with Escobar at SS. Yo get's the start against Carloass Zambranodouche

2B Felipe Lopez
RF Corey Hart
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
3B Casey McGehee
CF Mike Cameron
C Jason Kendall
SS Alcides Escobar
P Yovani Gallardo

It's gonna happen!


DiFelice has been placed on the DL and the Crew has purchased right-hander Josh Butler's contract from Class AA Huntsville. It's rare that a player from AA gets this opportunity, so the Brewers must be very high on him. I would imagine he will be starting in place of Parra later this week.

We got Josh Butler in the Gabe Gross trade in early 2008. Let's hope he's got good stuff.

Brewers 2010 Schedule

The Brewers have released the team schedule for next year.

"Milwaukee will begin next season with a six-game homestand against the Rockies and Cardinals, according to the schedule released by Major League Baseball on Tuesday. Opening Day is Monday, April 5, at Miller Park, and it's slated to be an afternoon affair. "

At least we don't have to play the damn Cubs at home again to open the season. I've already put in for that day off next year. See you there.


Kind of a shitty picture, but as you can see this plate says TBAGS. It's a packer plate, so I started trying to come up with Player names that were like T* Bag*. I was not able to come up with any so I am left to believe one of the following:

1. He is the CEO of Lipton

2. He runs a business that sells douches under the name "Twat Bags, inc."

3. TBAGS is actually an acronym for To Bad AlCapone Got Syphilis OR

4. He enjoys quiet nights, long walks on the beach and dipping his balls in your mouth

I have yet to find a use for a cell phone camera that is not evil...

I can't drive 55 (Because I'm on a scooter)

The guy in the attached video decided it would be cool to get drunk, borrow his "friends" hoveround and drive it onto the freeway. if you listen close towards the end of the video when they ask him where he lives he responds "in the hood".

Very disappointing to find out his name was not George Costanza.

I also love when the cop says "is it his or is it rented?". As if that matters.

Soup Pitched Great (Again)

Makes you wonder what could have been if Bush and Suppan had not gone down? I don't know what happened to Suppan, but he is looking the best that he has in a Brewers uniform. Keeping the ball down and getting ground outs has always been Suppans thing and he did it to near perfection last night. Except for one bad pitch to Derrek Lee that ended up in the right center seats. Whenever we play the Cubs I just assume Lee is going to jack one, as it seems he has hit one per game against us all year.

Some amazing defense on both sides highlighted with a crazy diving catch by Sam Fuld to rob Catalanotto of what would have been the game tying RBI. Counsell had a solid night at short. It seemed like 75% of the plays were to him. Megeeneegeenee and Lopez also showed good range on several plays.

Kendall has been looking like a master of base running lately. Another delayed steal of 2nd turned into a 3rd base trot and almost a run with some errant throws. He must be hitting up his winter stash of beans. I've noticed Bush is fiddling his bat lately just like Kendall. Perhaps he's a hobo in training?

I don't understand sitting Braun. At first I thought it would have to be because of injury. Why the hell else would you sit one of your best players? It seems as though Macha just wanted left handed bats in the lineup. Another indictator that Braun was not injured was that he didn't want to talk about sitting out to reporters. Obviously, he wasn't too happy about it. I really like his candor, but he has been making some piss poor decisions and stupid comments as of late. How did that lineup work out for you Macha? Right...

WLMW means garbage. The game was NOT on you because you decided to play tennis over baseball. I was already pissed off about the shitty picture and audio broadcast quality, but then you preempt Brewers baseball for tennis?! So, let me see if I understand this; your rinky dink piece of shit station gets a Brewers contract and then you decide that it would be a great idea to play tennis instead? Thanks for posting the alternative channels for all the Cable carriers... What about satellite fuckers? It took me 10 minutes to find this stupid MeTV. I'm just waiting for you to preempt baseball for the Munsters or Matlock because that's all you fucking play. Perhaps you should check your demographic because I'm 99.99999% sure that far more of the beer swilling Milwaukeean public would rather watch baseball.

Great, now I'm all pissed off and I have a birthday party to clown in 20 minutes. I'll probably make a balloon animal sword and stab a kid. It's all your fault WMLW. Murderers....

Monday, September 14, 2009

Lineup - Braun out

Braun is out of the lineup. Kinda sucks being that we are playing the Cubs. Even if it doesn't mean anything for the season standings, it means a lot because I hate the fucking Cubs.

2B Felipe Lopez
SS Craig Counsell
3B Casey McGehee
1B Prince Fielder
CF Mike Cameron
RF Jody Gerut
C Jason Kendall
LF Frank Catalanotto
P Jeff Suppan

Junk Truck'n - Junk Jeep'n

Saw this awesome Jeep getting on Hwy 16 in Pewaukee. If my Jeep history serves me correctly, I would say this fine automobile was from the war of 1812. It had one bench seat that looked to be stolen from a park and then bolted down. The driver was a portly fellow who was wearing rawhide gloves for some unknown reason. Perhaps it was the only way to wrangle in the awesomeness of this vehicle. Having the spare tire on the side of the truck is a great idea! Why would you not want to ram into shit?

He has collector plates. I know a vehicle has to be of a certain age to qualify for this, but isn't there some kind of limit on age? I was going to follow him to see if his legs popped out the bottom and if he stopped for a giant slab of meat.

Good sports weekend

It was a good weekend for all Wisconsin teams. The Brewers completed a sweep of the D-Backs, the Packers beat the Bears and Badgers won an exciting double overtime battle.

Cutler and Rodgers both looked rough in the beginning of yesterdays game. Both offensive lines were getting burned and the QB's roughed up. You can tell that the Packers really miss Mark Tauscher. Cutler had probably the worst game of his career with 4 interceptions. Although, it appeared that a lot of that had to do with receivers bad routes and miscommunication. The Bears offense really never got off the ground and looked out of synch the whole game. I think Rodgers is finally silencing critics that say he can't play under pressure and bring the team back late in the 4th. A nice strike and good speed from Jennings took care of that.

It was great to hear the Packer pre-game hours before kickoff preemted the Brewers game. It's like a switch gets flipped in this state. As soon as football is on no other sport matters. I've never lived anywhere else, so I don't know if it's like this other places? I wonder if the Brewers were in the World Series playing on a Sunday night opposite a Packer game would this still be the case?

Sunday, September 13, 2009


It was a good series, with good pitching and a lot of hits... Against a team that is 75% minor league guys. With this senario it's always hard to determine if we were that good or the other team is that bad. Either way there is no doubt that it is directly related to the Sweep Manatee...

Megeeneegeenee had one hell of a series (again) and is having an all-star type month. I didn't realize his knee injury was bad enough to require surgery in the offseason, but that was mentioned in the broadcast. BA talked about how his wider stance may be related to the knee problems, but It's kind of obvious that he needs to look at losing some weight. I'm sure the trainers will be addressing this in the offseason. It seems like he is carrying a lot of weight in his core.

Villanueva with another awesome performance. He really does seem to have found something in his last 3 appearances. I believe it is his Fu-Manchu mustache. Maybe I'm wrong on the time frames, but it seems to me that he has owned since growing his far east facial hair.

Fielder tied Cecil Cooper for all time franchise RBI's at 126. (Until Braun hits 158 next year)

4 games at the Cubs now, then 3 games next week at home. What's with the stupid fucking schedule this year? We just played the Cards twice in 2 weeks as well. We couldn't spread that out a bit? Dumb.

Crazy run by Adrian Peterson. I think there were 3 stiff arms? I was really offended by Favre saying that he had never played with a running back that good. What about Travis Jervey? Eat that!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Hebrew Hammer - 100 HR's

Congratulations to Ryan Braun on being one of 6 players all time to hit 100 home runs in his first 3 seasons. It's very impressive when you look at the list of other players:

Albert Pujols
Ralph Kiner
Eddie Mathews
Joe DiMaggio
Mark Teixeira

Just imagine if Braun would have broken camp with the team in 2007 instead of being called up in late may. He could very possibly be making his own list.

He only needs 15 more to be the all time leader. The season isn't over yet... Go-Go crazy end of season home run barrage.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Sweep the Snakes

Or win one. Whatever.


I always get an eerie feeling on 9/11. I know I'll never forget that day. I was working in the 411 building downtown and watched the second plane hit the tower. I got the fuck out of there right quick. Whether you agree with what has transpired since then or not, I think everyone can agree that America changed forever.

God Bless America (Except Chicago)

Choices to make

Witrado actually wrote a good article for once with real stats. Maybe he read the Casa and realized how much he sucked?

If they bring back Cameron I'm going to puke. I just don't get the love affair with that guy. It seems like I'm the only one...

I would like to see Kendall back to mentor one of our young catchers. I'm hoping Jonathan Lucroy blows shit up in the AFL and then gets another spring invite. I would love to see him make the cut next year. I know it's a long shot, but I have a really good feeling about him.

I don't see any way that they would keep Lopez under the Melvin regime. Weeks already penciled himself in next year with his one good fluke of a month. There is no way Melvin gives up on him now after talking about his potential for so long. Lopez is way too valuable and will cost too much to be playing in a bench role.

Escobar is your shortstop for next year. No way they go back to Hardy now. The only way he is on the team next year is if his value has dropped so much that they can't get anything worth while in trade.

I would imagine Counsell will be around the 3 million mark next year, but that will probably be negotiable with incentives. This has to be his last stop. He's a local guy and I highly doubt he wants to move. Counsell is clutch, book it.

NFL Kickoff

This is the first time I have ever heard the Black Eyed Peas music. My God, what a steaming pile of shit. People actually consider that music? It sounded like goats fucking. I've heard trash can lids being banged together be less repetitive. Is that suppose to be rap? Eazy-E would pop a cap in those poser bitches.

It's the same with the Super Bowl half time shows. Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson were a good example of music that doesn't fit in with the NFL. (I also didn't care for the old wrinkled tittie show) Someone needs to have a talk with the NFL and let them know that their demographic isn't 13 year old girls. I don't know of a single person that watches football and would listen to that garbage.

I'm not a big fan of Country, but at least Tim Mcgraw fit in with the show. The fireworks off the buildings were bad ass as well. They need more man music with shit blowing up and less of the pussy girlie crap. It's football not crochet club.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Josh "Crack" Hamilton

"Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it"

I know this is kinda old stuff, but it's been bothering me forever. Last year while Josh Hamilton was hitting in the HR Derby the broadcasters were busy talking about how great a story he was and a role model. They wouldn't shut up about it. Am I missing something here? How is taking your bonus money and spending it on hookers and blow a good story? Is that really the example you want your kids to follow? I'm glad that he got his shit together, but I'm not going to pretend like his life choices are to be admired. There are plenty of other sports players for your children to look up to that never hit the pipe.

Hamilton said that he found Jesus and that is what turned his life around. I've never really understood what that means. I wasn't aware that Jesus was lost in the first place... People seem to think that if they are born again all is forgiven. Dahmer found God in jail, so does that mean drilling holes in peoples heads and having a petrified dick is cool?

Every time Hamilton would hit a home run in the derby I would say "Crack" like Tyrone Biggums. Maybe I'm just an asshole?

Putin - Man of Action

Do I really have to comment on this one? I think everyone knows what he's talking about here... This is probably why he always takes his shirt off and not his pants.


Another terrible home stand. It's no wonder there were only like 35k there on Monday. That's piss poor for a holiday game.

Melvin was on the radio this morning talking about Macha's job security. He stated that he has confidence in Macha, but it sure sounded like it was not going to be his decision. I think it's safe to say at this point that Attanasio is calling the shots and is not happy. I still believe that Melvin is toast.

I've heard Melvin challenge all the bloggers and other people that rip on what he did for pitching to say what they would have done. I'll be posting my answer to that later.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Forgot it was a day game....

Here's the lineup.

2B Felipe Lopez
3B Craig Counsell
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
RF Corey Hart
CF Jody Gerut
C Jason Kendall
SS Alcides Escobar
RHP Jeff Suppan

Bike Helmets piss me off

I hadn't realized how prevalent the wearing of bike helmets had become until riding on some trails this past weekend. I thought it was just kids wearing these stupid fucking things, but now there are adults and even elderly doing so.

I have now road a bike for around 30 years without ever getting seriously injured. I've crashed into trees, parked cars, poles, buildings, ect. and I'm fine. (fine is a relative term). I don't even understand how you hit your head while riding a bike? Are you doing endo's because your double chin weighs 200 lbs? Are your reflexes so slow that you can't get your arms extended to brace your fall? Do you drool a lot?

Did you wear a bike helmet when you were a kid? No, because people weren't giant pussies back then. Back in the day a father would tell their kid to rub some dirt on it and shut the fuck up or they would give you something to cry about. It's all a marketing ploy to sell stupid helmets. They make it seem like you are a bad parent if you don't force your kid to wear one, then you buy one to set a good example. Why not just put your kid in a coat of armer or one of those bomb defusing suits? Don't fall victim to the Helmet Shim-Sham.

I have never in my life known or heard of anyone getting seriously injured on a bicycle besides getting hit by a car. If you get hit by a car I think you have more pressing issues then if you were wearing a cheap piece of plastic on your head. Chances are your legs will be busted long before your head.

I also can't get over the old people I saw wearing this shit either. They probably go home and cook with straight lard, but a bike helmet is the best way to prolong their life? These are probably the same people that fall prey to the West African email scams.

These types of helmets don't even look like they would do anything unless you were dropped directly on your head. If you really want your kids to be safe from all the "danger" of a 5 mph bike ride then get them a skate boarding type helmet that will actually protect something.

Pujols - A side by side comparison

All he needs is a corn pipe and it's a dead ringer. Instead of spinach Pujols get's super strength when he home run trots on a single. Khalil Greene could play Wimpy.


I'm having trouble posting stuff today with the blogspot interface. Hopefully, they will have it fixed and I'll have updates later.


I was extremely offended by the Cardinals forearm bump celebrations. That was way over the top and now someone needs to be thrown at. How disrespectful! I'm old school and you guys are just a bunch of punks!

We may have been better off with Parra going out with a neck strain than with him staying in the game. I'm not saying that I wish for players to get injured, but there is no way Parra would have pitched as well as Villanueva. That was by far his best performance that I have seen this year. He looked to be back in early 2008 form when he was untouchable. He's been off and on since the second half of '08 and never really got back to how he should be pitching.

Weathers continues to be sporatic. I guess I can't really fault him too much for giving up a dinger to Pujols. You really have to either pitch perfect or pitch around with him. Now with Holliday protecting Pujols do you really want to pitch around him? We've gotten burned twice now by being careful to Pujols and having Holliday blast one. I think at this point we should just go right at Pujols and avoid the hot hand in Holliday. He's still mortal even if he believes God is his homie.

I can't get on Hoffman too much as he has still pitched very well this year. With only 3 blown saves now that's still a quality season. I chalk this one up to going through the heart of the order of the hottest team in baseball.

It's good to see that Hardy has picked up right where he left off... Sucking shit. What really pisses me off is that his trade value continues to drop. Pretty soon we won't be able to trade him for an Arch Deluxe.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

God has better shit to do

And on the seventh day God said Let Pujols hit a double!

This is what I am led to believe every time Pujols or a number of other players give props to the G.O.D for a hit. Like God, Jesus, Allah, Buddah, jobu or whatever higher power you believe in really gives a shit if you hit a home run? Should I pound my chest and point to the heavens every time I make a kick ass balloon animal or juggle 5 midgets? I think that would look just as silly.

I understand that you want to thank God for the talents he has given you, but It's gotten way out of hand. Now we have players making the sign of the cross and kissing a crucifix before each at bat. Do you think God is up there saying "Right back at ya slick!" Get a fucking clue you weak minded tools. God has better shit to do like playing GTA 3.

My girlfriend's most disappointing baseball moment

I was watching a Red Sox game a few months back and my girlfriend wanted to see this green monster she kept hearing about. When I pointed out the big green wall in left field she was totally confused. She said to me "That's it? I thought it was some kind of inflatable green monster like Godzilla!" "How stupid. Why don't they just call it the big gay green wall?"

Big gay green wall indeed. (not that there is anything wrong with that)

Mike Cameron - America's most average baseball player

Again, Cameron cost us a game with his gold glove defense this weekend. I'm so fed up with him I don't even know what to say anymore. I only heard the call on the radio, so I still have yet to see the actual play; however, if he was given an error than I can only assume it was a ball that should have been cought. Cameron had this to say about the play "It was just a low knuckleball," Cameron said. "It hit off my thumb. It turned out to be costly. "It's a tough play if you make it, and if you don't make it, in our situation, you become the goat."

I'm not sure how one becomes a goat? Are you some type of wizard or a voodoo priest? Perhaps you mean Scapegoat? Instead of making excuses why not just come out and say you made a bad play? Just like the bad play you made last year in the playoffs...

This post has been brought to you by:

Also sponsored by the letter H for Herpes.

Idiotic JSOnline Comments

Oscar is clearly tarded. He's speaking of Braun being out yesterday. I used to read the comments for the comedy, but this is just too much.

Monday Sep 07, 2009 12:18 PM
He got hurt during that ridicolous stupid celebration yesterday. Serves them right. No place for that. You can have fun while showing some class. Prince is lucky there done with the Giants series and don't play them today or he'd be Beemed in the head.

Monday Sep 07, 2009 12:20 PM
This guy is Ben sheets V2. Has he ever not been injured? Pretty soon it'll be the blisters on his pinkie finger like Sheets all over again and the Brewers invested Long-term in this guy. Possible mistake?

Ok, I was wrong about him missing more games this season. I thought he missed more. My bad. Braun is actually my favorite player and I was just fearing this injury to maybe be more "Serious" Than it is. Last season he was like killing me everytime he struggled because you feared it was his back/intercoastal strain again. Sorry for being cautious.

Celebratory Shenanigans

Sounds like everyone is all up in arms again about the Brewers walk off celebration on Sunday. Torii Hunter, who wasn't even involved in the game had some comments,0,4536898.story
Why would they throw at Fielder? It was clear that he had nothing to do with the planning. Hunter is obviously a bit slow in the head.

I just don't see what the big deal is. Are players not allowed to have fun once in a while? It's been a long season for Brewers players and fans, so it was nice for once to see an exciting finish. The fans and players left happy and that's what really matters. It just doesn't seem like other teams gel the same as the Brewers, so maybe they are a bit jealous of the comradery? I can see being a bit upset if they did this in the opposing teams park, but it was at home at Miller Park.

There hasn't been a whole lot to celebrate this year, so I enjoyed it. Especially after that shitty home stand. Even if this team sucks walk offs are still fun.

UPDATE: After watching this again it does appear that Fielder was in on the planning. For whatever reason the first time I watched it didn't look that way. It really doesn't matter either way except that Fielder will probably get plunked.

Not Dead

Clown, I'm not dead you asshole, you left me up here to die. I was able to break free from the bear after I hit him with my bottle of hooch. I also choked him with my ascot. I then berated the bear and told him how important I am. After coming to an understanding that I was far more important we sat down to a nice dinner of chops.

I may stay here and live in bear city. I heard there is some good porridge.

Back for the Attack

What a beautiful week to be off work. Nothing but sunshine in the north woods. A perfect week for fish'n, boat'n and drink'n. Not a whole lot on the fish front, but I did have a few good ones hooked. The first night I had what looked to be about a 3-4lb small mouth hooked. It jumped out of the water higher than any fish I've ever seen and shooked the lure right out.

There are always a few good quotes from drunken camping. Here's a few from this trip:

Camp Host - “Oh no, you don’t want to camp there, that’s bear city.”

Clown - “ I don’t want to die listening to Duran Duran.”

Bob Cooper - “I always thought Jethro Tull was a black guy.”

Bob Cooper Sr. - “What’s a Snuggie?”

Bob Cooper Sr. - “Don’t let the stern side wander out.” Clown - “ Stern?” “What the fuck is that?"

Bob Cooper - “It was an accident, I didn’t mean to shit.” “I just flung the turd as far into the woods as I could.”

Bob Cooper Sr. - "I was thinking about putting punji sticks outside my windows"

Clown - (after taking down and rolling up the tent) - "Have you seen my sunglasses?" Bob Cooper - "They are in the pocket in the tent"

Bear in bushes behind tent - "Snort... Snort..."

I do have to report that Bob Cooper did not make it back alive. He was digging in the camp dumpster when a bear saw him and thought he was a banana peel due to his yellowed appearance from alcoholic jaundis.

Brewers updates on the way.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Gone Fishing

Bob Cooper and myself will be gone the rest of the week in the far north catching giant Muskies. With his affinity for trash digging I'm guessing he will probably fight a bear.

I'm going to try and do some posts remotely from my Blackberry if I have service, but I don't know if that will work. There may be a couple posts from Chorenzo Chorizno, but that depends on his bean situation.

I'll be back Monday with a shit-ton of updates. I'm working on a bunch of good stuff. Go Brewers and my Shad Rap.

Playing the wrong Card

In a game where it was tit for tat through 7 innings it was only a matter of time before the Cards were going to break out once they got to our bullpen. The decision to walk the best player in baseball to pitch to the hottest player in baseball was probably the wrong one. Although, the Cardinals lineup is pretty good up and down, so you gotta pitch to someone.

Not a bad game for Looper. I'll take holding the Cards to 4 runs from any of our starters any day. They have one hell of an offense. They are good at both hitting bombs and manufactoring runs.

I really hope they have plans for Casey Meeheegeeneegeenee next year. Even if he is blocking Gamel, he needs to be an every day guy. I will take a proven player over a prospect that didn't fair well his first time up any day. The best part about Casey is that the Cubs let him go.

It was a good effort all the way around. Losing by one and making a nice comeback in the 9th was good to see against the best team in the division. Two more games, let's get em.

I thought of a new drinking game for the rest of the series. Anytime they show La Russa, Drink. You know he wants to.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Funny Tuesday Lineup

Here's the Lineup for tonight. Hardy is in at the 8 spot. That's quite a vote of confidence after just getting back up to the bigs hitting behind the catcher. That's like saying "Welcome back! We know you still suck!" I wish they would just get Cameron out of the fucking lineup for good. Play Gerut in center and see if he is a viable option for next year.

2B Felipe Lopez
RF Jody Gerut
LF Ryan Braun
1B Prince Fielder
3B Casey McGehee
CF Mike Cameron
C Jason Kendall
SS J.J. Hardy
RHP Braden Looper

Putin - Man of Action

This is the only picture of Putin I have ever seen where he has a shirt on; however, what is about to happen is him ripping his shirt off and giving an epic beat down to poser Jean-Claude Van Damme. The fight started over Putin telling Van Damme that having his own name on his shirt is extreme twat-baggery. He also told him that Cyborg was worse than Troll 2.

Witrado - What a douche

If the story is coming out tomorrow then why the hell would you post part of it today? Is it because you were too busy teabagging your mom and missed your deadline?

I can't handle him anymore. I don't even understand why the Brewers need two beat writers? Haudricourt does a fine job on his own, so there is just no need for it. I am going to start an official petition to get him fired.

More to come on this soon.


The deadline came and went for post season eligibility. I thought for sure we would deal someone. I was really hoping to unload America's most average baseball player, Mike Cameron. I disagree when everyone says his defense is awesome, so it makes up for his strikeouts. Once in a while he makes a great play like any other outfielder, but I've never been overly impressed. I will also never forget the "bad route" he took to that ball that basically knocked us out of the playoffs last year. It's burned in my memory for all time and I puke a little in my mouth when I think about it. I would like to see Gerut and Bourgeois get more time in the field. I was also hoping they would bring up Cain and see what he could do. At this point we should be testing the waters for next year not letting mediocre players that will be gone next year have most of the playing time.

The series coming up with the Cards in my mind is huge. We may be basically out of the divisional race, but I hate the Cards and that trash bag bum infested shithole of a city. They are a bunch of cry baby bitches that need to be put down. This is about pride and untucking our shirts to piss them off. Let's go in there and show them that we are still a threat and shove the ball right up their Pujols! I am praying for a bench clearing brawl. It's go time.