Burple x Pound Puppies = Sqaure mint flavored chips

That dontevenreply.com got me thinking about a couple crazy email chains that I had. I've had the same hotmail account since it's inception in 1996 and it's just my first and last name @hotmail. I get a ton of misdirected email. Usually I'll just ignore it, but if the morons are persistant then I have some fun. I pulled this one out of my archives. I put the guys real email address because he's a fucktard and deserves it.

Date: Sun, 20 May 2007
From: muadeeb@tmail.com> >
To:***********@hotmail.com
Subject: RyderDate

If there is a bus ryder today, just 1 case of water for bus 1. I will also require several bags of tortilla's.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Sun, 20 May 2007
From: Clown
To: muadeeb@tmail.com
Subject: RyderDate:

We just ran out of the triangle flour tortillas... We still have mint flavored square corn ones. I will also throw in a case of Burple.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Mon, 21 May 2007
From: muadeeb@tmail.com
To: Clown
Subject: RyderDate

What's burple?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Mon, 21 May 2007
From: Clown
To: muadeeb@tmail.com
Subject: RyderDate

Burple was a drink mix that came in an expanding container. It started out small but you had to stretch it and add water to make the drink. The drink mix tasted very similar to Kool-Aid and usually came in purple (Grape). The label included instructions for poking a hole in the cap to convert the container into an ad hoc squirt gun after finishing the drink. I think the case is from 1986, but I just drank some last week and it's still good. The kids will love it and it prevents the Bends.

Do you need any tee-ball Hi-Liters?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Mon, 21 May 2007
From: muadeeb@tmail.com
To: Clown
Subject: RyderDate

I just need my normal order. Chips and water.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Mon, 21 May 2007
From: Clown
To: muadeeb@tmail.com
Subject: RyderDate

Are you sure? If you order the Burple I will also throw in a several Pound Puppies. They are a bit dusty and may have Ebola, but they should be fun for the bus "ryder".
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Tues, 22 May 2007
From: muadeeb@tmail.com
To: Clown
Subject: RyderDate
NO.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Tues, 22 May 2007
From: Clown
To: muadeeb@tmail.com
Subject: RyderDate

I found the hexagonal rosemary flavored tortilla chips you requested. They were behind my stash of weapons grade plutonium.

Is your flux capacitor still in working order? We are repairing those now.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No response so I emailed him again


Date: Thurs, 24 May 2007
From: Clown
To: muadeeb@tmail.com
Subject: RyderDate

Look you scurvy ridden cock ramp, I've had just about enough of your indecision.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 25 May 2007
From muadeeb@tmail.com
To: Clown
Subject: RyderDate

What's scurvy? Is that a band from Detroit?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 25 May 2007 (4 minutes after the last email)
From muadeeb@tmail.com
To: Clown
Subject: RyderDate

Calgary was what year of the winter olympics?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

At this point I figured the jig is up and he was just messing with me, so I ended it.

Date: Fri, 25 May 2007
From Clown
To: muadeeb@tmail.com
Subject: RyderDate

You must be the dumbest mother fucker ever. There are like 450 *******@hotmail.com, maybe check the address next time.

PS. Ryder is spelled RIDER twatstank.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next up, the time I pretended to be someones boyfriend and talked about pork.

Stupid JSOnline comments

Here are a few gems from todays comments:

JessBall
Monday Jul 27, 2009 11:36 PM
He's got to sit Kendall, more. There was a remarkable difference between Chris Smith's past outings and this one. With Rivera, he got ground balls. Do the Brewers' personnel pay attention to these forums and polls?
Yes, I'm sure Brewers personnel would be interested in hearing your retarded views.

Rome Guy
Tuesday Jul 28, 2009 7:06 AM
BEAN BALL - Brewer pitchers ever heard of it????Your entire staff is getting rocked by the last place team, give up 2 Grand Slams and nobody gets a pitch in the ear hole???Give Me A Break
Your team sucks ass so you should intentionally try to give someone brain damage? Good call asshole. Let's be short another pitcher via suspension. That will help the situation greatly.

CJTURT
Monday Jul 27, 2009 11:24 PM
Send him to AAA. I would (meaning Suppan)
Great idea. You really understand baseball contracts shit for brains.

FireDMelvin
Monday Jul 27, 2009 11:45 PM
Fire Melvin And Macha; Together they can go camping with Ned yost.Trade Hardy, Hoffman, looper, hart, may be if lucky cup of soup by eating half of his contract, for some propects who can pitch.
What the fuck are you even saying?

FireDMelvin
Monday Jul 27, 2009 11:54 PM
but it signify that crew is not a player away but players away to be in the post season.
This did not help your cause. I've had more coherent farts than this.

Molitor Fan
Monday Jul 27, 2009 11:59 PM
Escobar was not ready. I thought he was be but I was wrong. And when he does play he's going to make a lot of errors being a rookie SS. Then some of you malcontents may appreciate Hardy's steady play.
When you have this many grammatical errors it is pointless to get out your thesaurus.


KRK
Tuesday Jul 28, 2009 12:09 AM
Maybe the Crew can turn it around but right now its sad to see them fade this bad...So tomorrow, house rules go into effect since the Crew is under .500, no Brewers on TV...I sure hope its temporary...
Yes, why support the team when they need you most. Asshole.