Wednesday, September 23, 2009

South Side Rizzide

I don't even feel like talking about last nights game, so I'll talk about what transpired before hand.

I met up with Chorenzo Chorizno and another friend at a park and ride before heading off to the game. We discovered that Chorenzo Chorizno had forgotten the tickets at his house, so we set off through the heart of the south side to retrieve them from his abode. What I saw on the way there reminded me of a 3rd world country.

The first thing I noticed was the guy at the bus stop with a duct tape eye patch. Not just one strip of tape, but a shitload of tape in a cross pattern. I don't think this person realized that the Walgreens right on the corner sells real eye patches cheaper than a roll of duct tape. He looked at me as I looked at him. Well, with one eye of course...

We drove a bit further and came upon a store called "Wine - Shoes". There have been times in my life that I have needed shoes or wine, but never at the same time. This must be the smallest customer base ever. Maybe they should sell wine and eye patches? I see a larger need for that in the area.

After the wine and shoes we saw a guy in a parking lot with roughly a 4 foot pony tail and a Batman shirt. This was the first of 2 Batman shirt wearing south siders I saw within 2 minutes. I know they are a bit behind the times there, but did Batman just get released?

There was a guy walking down the street perhaps attempting to survive the perfect south side storm wearing full on fisherman leg waders. He also had white hair, beard and mustache just like the Gortons Fisherman.

Next up was the bum going to town on the trash buffet. It looked like he had found a bag of donuts and was enjoying what appeared to be a bear claw. No difference between that and buying day old bakery.. Right?

The white gangsta wearing matching sweat shirt and pants rounded off the trip nicely. It looked like possibly some type of skull pattern. I heard south side chicks dig guys with matching track suits.


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