Sunday, December 27, 2009

The Target / Xbox Shim-Sham

This is a long story, but well worth the read.

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring except Clowns piece of shit broken ass Xbox from the fuckers at Target...

I didn't think much of it when I opened my Xbox on Christmas Eve and the outside box was a slightly beat up. Nothing major, just looked like it may have been sitting for a while and shuffled around. I took it home from my parents house none the wiser to what was about to become the biggest Christmas pain in the ass ever.

When I arrived home I was excited to get my Xbox hooked up and rolling. I removed the unit and power supply from the box and immediately noticed that the plug and power adapter were totally different. There was no way it was going to fit. Puzzled, I started to check out the system itself and started to realize that what I received was a used Xbox. There were pen marks, dents and random signs of abuse. I called my parents to inquire if possibly they purchased a refurbed system. (at this point I didn't know where it had been purchased) They informed me that it was a new unit and was purchased at Target. They were baffled as to how this could have happened, but I had a pretty good idea as to what was going on...

I couldn't really do much except stew as the next day was Christmas and Target was closed. Clown was getting more restless and angry as the day went on. I knew they were going to give me shit about returning this and I knew I was going to get really fucking angry.

Saturday arrived and I headed down to Target as soon as they opened. I told myself I was going to keep it calm at first and escalate the situation if necessary. (if you've been on here a while you know I have a slight temper and vulgarity problem) I walked up to the returns counter and explained the situation in a calm and courteous manner:

Clown - "I got this Xbox for Christmas and the power plug does not fit. Also, you can clearly tell that this is not a new system. There are pen marks and other imperfection all over. I'm not sure what happened here, but obviously it needs to be exchanged"

The 1st woman I talked to was apologetic, but you could tell the wheels were spinning and she didn't quite believe me. She told me to go to electronics and grab a new one. At this point I was thinking this is way to easy. When I arrived back at the returns counter there were about 8 associates investigating the situation. As I walked back up to the counter I was informed to "Please step back and they would be with me shortly". This was strike one on the Clown anger escalation scale. I stepped back and stood there for about 3 minutes while they pondered what to do. While standing there I looked at the box I was returning and the new one I had brought up. It was totally different and looked to be an older model.

Finally a manager came up and I approached the counter with my anger firmly on level 2. She was not aware of the situation, so once again I explained to her what the deal was. She had the nerve to say to me "This is used. We don't return used electronics". Instantly skipping anger level 3 and going to 4 I said "What the hell is that suppose to mean!? YOU sold it to me in this condition!!" It was at this very moment that another women approached the counter with her child on the verge of tears and said "You sold me this new Nintendo DS and it has scratches all over the screen and the stylus is missing! I had to explain to my children why Santa would bring them USED toys! Now they know Santa doesn't exist. What is going on here?!"

My suspicion all along was that an employee was stealing merchandise and replacing it with used or defective crap. This basically proved my theory... RIGHT!? I said to the manager "See! Same thing! Obviously there is some kind of shim-sham theft ring going on in your store!" The manager then tells me "That situation has nothing to do with yours" It was at this point I think smoke started to come from my head, skipping level 5-9 I was now at full on level 10 fuck you time.

Clown - "Are you fucking retarded?! How can you not see what's going on here. You have an employee stealing electronics you moron. Either you give me a new Xbox or I will call Target corporate and give you a shitstorm like you've never fucking seen! I'm not a teenager. I have money to buy a fucking Xbox. I don't have time for this shit!"

Other male manager that was now helping the other women - "Sir, please settle down. There's no need to swear. We're going to do you a favor and return your unit"

Clown - "Do me a favor?! Are you fucking kidding me? Did you do my dad a favor when you sold him a used busted ass fucking Xbox asshole?!"

It was at this point that the female manager put the new Xbox into a bag, gave me a receipt and I walked out with my hopefully working new Xbox. I was fully my intention to make them open the new unit in front of me to make sure all of the parts were there, but I just wanted to get the fuck out of there.

I arrived home and noticed the front sticker on this unit came off really easily. The unit inside was still sealed, the power plug fit and the unit worked; however, you could tell that the box had been opened at some point and some materials including the Xbox live free sign-up ID was missing. There was no way in hell I was going back because I would end up in prison for stabbing someone.

I'm far from done with this however. I will be calling, emailing and snail mailing corporate. I will also be calling today to speak to the actual store manager.

This may be a small blog, but I'll be spreading the word as much as possible about your terrible customer service and obvious employee thefts. I can guarantee that there were many more electronics coming back that day in the same condition.

Thanks for wrecking Christmas not only for me, but for those other kids. What a way to find out Santa isn't real.

This is far from over Target...

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Good Bye America's most average baseball player

I don't understand peoples hard on with Cameron. I don't give a shit what some gay-ass metrics have to say, he is the most overpaid player possibly in the history of baseball. Look around at other players making 10 million a year... I bet they aren't taking "bad routes" to balls that cost a team a playoff game. It wasn't just that one either, that one obviously just stands out.

I especially enjoyed your transformation into Rob Deer to finish the season this year. It looked something like this: K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, HR, K, K, K, K, K, K, K, HR

You may have been a good guy in the clubhouse, but that's not worth 10 million.

At least we won't be subjected to your giant super herpes cold sores anymore.

Fucking Worthless.

Good luck Big-Red

I can't say that I was surprised when I heard that Seth McClung was non-tendered, but I was definitely disappointed. Seth always seemed to give everything he had whenever called upon. He also genuinely liked Milwaukee and the fans. Seth became a fan favorite for his condor and excitement both on and off the field. One time in particular that I will never forget is when Braun hit the bomb in 2008 that catapulted us into the playoffs. Seth could be seen running around going ape shit in the bullpen. That was a real reaction, from a real guy, that really cared about this team. It's amazing that of all the highlights in 2008 that sticks in my head.

I wish you the best of luck where ever you land. If and when you return to Miller Park myself and many others will be on our feet.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Junk Truck'n - The WTF Edition

The pictures are kind of shitty because it was on the move, but I think you can see that this is a full sized GMC pickup with what appears to be a Corvette back end bolted on.

Here's a closer view of the amazing Truckvette:

While I admire your ingenuity and crazy welding / mashup abilities I think we need to examine the obvious question of WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THIS?

Are you attempting to trick people into believing that Corvette released a truck version? Maybe GM would be interested in your idea! You should totally send them pictures of your Truckvette jalopymobile. If GM would have had this idea before they probably wouldn't have needed a bailout.

Somewhere an El Camino is rolling in it's grave.

Latroy Hawkins 2 year deal

Just heard on ESPN radio that Latroy Hawkin's has signed a 2 year deal with the Milwaukee.

Wolf signs 3 year deal

According to a twittter post by Ken Rosenthal, Randy Wolf has agreed to a three year deal with the Crew. Amount unspecified.

Winter Meetings

The winter meetings are upon us and Pornstache has been hard at work trying to land Wolf. It sounds like it could be a done deal today anywhere from 27 to 31 million. I like the Brewers aggressiveness on this. They ponied up right away and basically shutout other teams that may have been interested in bidding. The roughly 10 million a year salary is already made up by dumping America's most average baseball player, Mike Cameron. It's always risky to spend that much on a pitcher even if they don't get hurt (see cold Soup), but it's a risk you have to take to compete. I will go on record as saying I have a good feeling about Wolf.

Melvin is suppose to meet with Barry Meister, Craig Counsell's agent before the meetings are through. Haudricourt had originally reported that Counsell was seeking a 2 year contract, but has since reported that was incorrect and a mutually beneficial one year deal should get it done. We'll need Counsell to fill in when Dick Reeks breaks his 3rd wrist... Trust me, he'll find a 3rd one to break.

Apparently, there were talks of a Corey Hart for John Maine deal. Good. Take your attitude to NY. You'll be wearing your sunglasses all fucking day after someone beats you with a bag of wrenches prick.

Friday, December 4, 2009

I'm throwing in the towel for 2010

I'm already very disappointed with the moves this off season and it's barely gotten started. Not re-signing Looper will bite us in the ass. How much pitching does Pornstache really think he's going to pick up?! Other teams need pitching too asshole and many of them have more money.

Now it would appear that the hobo is officially out. The Brewers have signed Gregg Zaun for the #1 catching duties next season. Exactly what are we gaining here besides cutting payroll? Nothing. Zaun blows. I can only hope that Lucroy busts out of spring and steals the starting job at some point.

I think are chances in 2010 are slim to none. I will still watch every game as always, but I think this is going to be brutal AGAIN. Unless Melvin can pull something magical out of his ass besides his head, it's fucking done.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Bob Cooper - Man of Action

Bob Cooper is more confused here then when he found out his son was gay from his Myspace profile. He could not figure out why anyone would lock trash? (Especially the recycling bin) How the hell are the street people going to survive if people start locking up the aluminum?

Don't worry gutter snipes, Bob Cooper is fighting for your trash digging rights and he's very important.

Brewers Clubhouse Sale - Julio Machado Mention

The brewers are having a sale this weekend at the Stadium.

The best part about it is this tidbit from Haudricourt:

"A personal side note: Years ago, I went to the Brewers' clubhouse sale and purchased the last jersey worn by reliever Julio Machado, who had been arrested for murder in Venezuela. I gave it to a co-worker for his son. As far as collector's items go, how many folks can say they have a major league jersey last worn by a player convicted of murder?"


Junk Truck'n - Vintage Junk

This amazing piece of vintage junk is a 1962 Ford and it was taken to settle a debt... My question was, who owed who?! Was the debt for like .39 cents?

Of course it wouldn't be complete without being filled with junk:

Why wouldn't you haul around a 90's Thunderbird steering wheel?

If he's planning on restoring this he may want to concentrate his efforts on building a time machine first so he can find the fucking parts. Bondo stock is going to skyrocket.

When the Saints go marching all over your ass

I wasn't really believing that the Saints were as good as their record, but after last night I think it's clear that they are the team to beat. They made the Pat's defense look stupid. That offense is crazy talk.

A Vikings vs. Saints playoff game would be one hell of matchup. I look forward to it.