Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Anger and Flying Pretzels

Last nights game was tough to watch from the start. Looper got lit up like a Christmas tree from the time he hit the field. His worst performance that I can remember as Brewer. It's hard to tell exactly what the problem is from the stands, but I'm guessing he wasn't keeping the ball down and serving up meatballs. The back to back jacks by Lee and Ramirez was hard to handle. The Cubs fans in attendance were very vocal at that point. I would say it was 60-40 Cubs fans? Maybe even 70-30. There were a lot, that's for sure. The multiple double plays that the Crew grounded into also took the wind out of the home team fans sails.

They announced attendance of 34,000, but it looked like about 27,000 in the seats. I guess I just assumed this series would be sold out because it's the Cubs. I guess when both teams suck, that's what happens.

I was in Club level last night with some people I do business with. There was a dipshit Cubs fan sitting a row in front of me that kept slamming on the score board, basically the whole fucking game. I really wanted to yell something at him, but I was with people and I didn't want them to think I was insane. Do we come down to Wrigley and bang on your scorebo.... ohhh, I forgot. Your stadium was built in 1730, so you don't have any of this new fangled technology. Let me explain it too then... Inside that nice scoreboard are electronics. When you bang the shit out of electronics they usual cease to work. Kind of like when you wash your Zubaz too many times and they cease to fit. Got it? Maybe try pulling your pants up too.

I had a bloody mary and it was crazy hot. It was like they put a whole bottle of Tabasco in it. Maybe they were pissed that people were ordering that on a Monday night? Well, you got your revenge because my ass burns like hell this morning. Thanks.

I also had a pretzel. While I was eating it I laughed and I inhaled part of it. After coughing for a few minutes it became lodged in my nose. I tried breathing hard to get it out, but that didn't work. After a while I kind of forgot it was there and got used to it. I coughed again a while later and the chunk of pretzel came flying out and hit the person sitting in front of me in the head. He looked around and could not figure out what had happened. I'm not sure what the proper etiquett is for this situation? Should I have tapped him on the shoulder and said "Hey man, I had a pretzel piece stuck in my nose and it came flying out and hit you in the head. Sorry, about that..." He had a Twins jacket on anyway, so fuck him. I think I still have salt pieces stuck in my nose today because I keep sneezing. Awesome.

There was an annoying women behind me that said it was her first baseball game ever. She was like 60 years old. How is that possible? Anyway, she kept yelling stupid shit the whole game. For instance, after the Cubs scored the first run in the first inning she was yelling "Take him out! Take out the pitcher! Get him out of there! He's terrible! Who is this?!" Also, every time there was a fly ball she would yell "Call it! Call it in the air! Who's got it!? Catch the ball!" She would yell this on a foul ball that was already out of the field of play. Even on a ball that came straight back into the loge level. DUH.

UPDATE: I forgot to mention that the service in the Club level was terrible. I waited about an hour for a beer and a burger platter. I'm not sure if they had to drive to Nebraska to slaughter the cow and wait for the beer to ferment? The service is usually pretty good, so that was disappointing. The dumb bitch that knew nothing about baseball seemed to get her booze fast.


Chorenzo Chorizno said...

70-30? Not looking forward to tonight's game. Maybe we should just sit in the parking lot and drink and listen on the radio?

Anonymous said...

I just read that they sell more beer at Wrigley than any other stadium. Explains why their fans are fully retarded.
We need to make a Machado run to Wrigley next year in your Clown Car. Ten of us could pile in. We could then stand up in the middle of the Cubs batting to talk to people two rows behind us. That would be so cool.

-Mr. Del Taco

Clown said...

That sounds like a plan. If I dressed like a clown I would fit right in.

I can't wait to eat a Chicago dog with toxic waste relish.

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