I'm going to get edumacated

I've been getting college solicitations for about a year now for some dipshit name Jefreson who obviously does not know his own email address. It's amazing how many bullshit colleges have popped up in the past few years. I got this email today:

"You may be contemplating college for several reasons. Perhaps you want to start working to earn some money. Or maybe you need to work in order to assist in paying for college"

Maybe you should use proper grammar being that you are a "college" and not start a sentence with OR. Is this like the chicken or the egg? What kind of stupid circular logic is this?

The program gives you off on Monday's, so it may take you an extra couple of days to earn your fake 2 semester masters degree.

"Do you know it's not to late to start in July?" Really? I hope so, it's fucking November

I was offered an opportunity to sign up for a webchat with the faculty next Wednesday. I have quite a few questions that need to be answered like "Can I take online classes on my Tandy 1000?". I will capture the chat and post it on here next week. This is going to be epic.

As you can see I am a transferring from Outer Mongolia University of Canada. I really hope that my credits will transfer. I'm majoring in acrobatics with a minor in Boxing. (not the sport, just putting shit in boxes)