Sunday, December 27, 2009

The Target / Xbox Shim-Sham

This is a long story, but well worth the read.

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring except Clowns piece of shit broken ass Xbox from the fuckers at Target...

I didn't think much of it when I opened my Xbox on Christmas Eve and the outside box was a slightly beat up. Nothing major, just looked like it may have been sitting for a while and shuffled around. I took it home from my parents house none the wiser to what was about to become the biggest Christmas pain in the ass ever.

When I arrived home I was excited to get my Xbox hooked up and rolling. I removed the unit and power supply from the box and immediately noticed that the plug and power adapter were totally different. There was no way it was going to fit. Puzzled, I started to check out the system itself and started to realize that what I received was a used Xbox. There were pen marks, dents and random signs of abuse. I called my parents to inquire if possibly they purchased a refurbed system. (at this point I didn't know where it had been purchased) They informed me that it was a new unit and was purchased at Target. They were baffled as to how this could have happened, but I had a pretty good idea as to what was going on...

I couldn't really do much except stew as the next day was Christmas and Target was closed. Clown was getting more restless and angry as the day went on. I knew they were going to give me shit about returning this and I knew I was going to get really fucking angry.

Saturday arrived and I headed down to Target as soon as they opened. I told myself I was going to keep it calm at first and escalate the situation if necessary. (if you've been on here a while you know I have a slight temper and vulgarity problem) I walked up to the returns counter and explained the situation in a calm and courteous manner:

Clown - "I got this Xbox for Christmas and the power plug does not fit. Also, you can clearly tell that this is not a new system. There are pen marks and other imperfection all over. I'm not sure what happened here, but obviously it needs to be exchanged"

The 1st woman I talked to was apologetic, but you could tell the wheels were spinning and she didn't quite believe me. She told me to go to electronics and grab a new one. At this point I was thinking this is way to easy. When I arrived back at the returns counter there were about 8 associates investigating the situation. As I walked back up to the counter I was informed to "Please step back and they would be with me shortly". This was strike one on the Clown anger escalation scale. I stepped back and stood there for about 3 minutes while they pondered what to do. While standing there I looked at the box I was returning and the new one I had brought up. It was totally different and looked to be an older model.

Finally a manager came up and I approached the counter with my anger firmly on level 2. She was not aware of the situation, so once again I explained to her what the deal was. She had the nerve to say to me "This is used. We don't return used electronics". Instantly skipping anger level 3 and going to 4 I said "What the hell is that suppose to mean!? YOU sold it to me in this condition!!" It was at this very moment that another women approached the counter with her child on the verge of tears and said "You sold me this new Nintendo DS and it has scratches all over the screen and the stylus is missing! I had to explain to my children why Santa would bring them USED toys! Now they know Santa doesn't exist. What is going on here?!"

My suspicion all along was that an employee was stealing merchandise and replacing it with used or defective crap. This basically proved my theory... RIGHT!? I said to the manager "See! Same thing! Obviously there is some kind of shim-sham theft ring going on in your store!" The manager then tells me "That situation has nothing to do with yours" It was at this point I think smoke started to come from my head, skipping level 5-9 I was now at full on level 10 fuck you time.

Clown - "Are you fucking retarded?! How can you not see what's going on here. You have an employee stealing electronics you moron. Either you give me a new Xbox or I will call Target corporate and give you a shitstorm like you've never fucking seen! I'm not a teenager. I have money to buy a fucking Xbox. I don't have time for this shit!"

Other male manager that was now helping the other women - "Sir, please settle down. There's no need to swear. We're going to do you a favor and return your unit"

Clown - "Do me a favor?! Are you fucking kidding me? Did you do my dad a favor when you sold him a used busted ass fucking Xbox asshole?!"

It was at this point that the female manager put the new Xbox into a bag, gave me a receipt and I walked out with my hopefully working new Xbox. I was fully my intention to make them open the new unit in front of me to make sure all of the parts were there, but I just wanted to get the fuck out of there.

I arrived home and noticed the front sticker on this unit came off really easily. The unit inside was still sealed, the power plug fit and the unit worked; however, you could tell that the box had been opened at some point and some materials including the Xbox live free sign-up ID was missing. There was no way in hell I was going back because I would end up in prison for stabbing someone.

I'm far from done with this however. I will be calling, emailing and snail mailing corporate. I will also be calling today to speak to the actual store manager.

This may be a small blog, but I'll be spreading the word as much as possible about your terrible customer service and obvious employee thefts. I can guarantee that there were many more electronics coming back that day in the same condition.

Thanks for wrecking Christmas not only for me, but for those other kids. What a way to find out Santa isn't real.

This is far from over Target...


Lance's Other Nut said...

I must admit I took some time off from this blog lately...

Big. Mistake.

The visuals your story created is helping me forget the choke job Marquette pulled last night.

Garcia said...

I wish you would have been the mother's F-bomb advocate... you could have gotten her a new DS and it would have made life a little better for her. Unfortunately her kids now believe Santa is not real because that Target is a piece of shit....

Clown said...

Obviously, I've been taking some time off too! Ha

I just feel blah and can't come up with good stuff to write about. I guess I'd rather have a little good content than a ton of crap.

I'm sure once spring training gets closer I'll be posting again with gusto.

Roger Murdock said...

Looking forward to a Target update.

This is why Chuckie Hacks eventually came to a halt. You can only write "Corey Hart is a douche canoe" so many times.

However, I do enjoy seeing what the clown has to say.

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