Wednesday, February 17, 2010

What is the problem asshole?

For some reason I've been really craving Bloody Mary's all the time lately. I've noticed that every time I order one the bartender gives me attitude. Yes, I realize it's 6PM. Is there some unwritten law that a Bloody Mary can only be drank in the morning? Why is this any more difficult to make then something like a Long Island? What's so fucking hard about putting some juice, vodka, worcestershire sauce, bitters and some tabasco in a glass? Is it because of all the frills that go in with it? All I want is a pickle asshole, I don't need all the fru fru crap. I'm sorry I don't want a tap from your dirty ass lines with fruit flies that you haven't cleaned for 5 years that gave me the shits last time.

I've decided that from now on anywhere I go the first drink I'm ordering is a Bloody Mary. My friend Mr. Del Taco had a great idea; if I get attitude then I'm asking for a mojita. Go muddle me some fresh mint while you talk like Foghorn Leghorn bitch. Oh, and Enjoy your zero tip fucko.


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