In a somewhat shocking turn of events, the Milwaukee Brewers have traded Rickie Weeks to some guy who lives in his parents basement for his collection of classic porn. When reached for comment Doug Melvin had this to say:
"My mustache made this trade. It seems to have a mind of it's own lately. The other day I caught it about to go down on some chick with a massive bush. It's trying to re-live it's youth or something."
When the mustache was questioned on the somewhat unorthodox trade it had the following comment:
"I needed cash when I was younger and starred in a few films. These films may or may not have involved me and some other dudes. This guy had one of the last copies, plus he threw in a Seka Swedish Erotica. Is this really that big of a deal anyway? It's Rickie Weeks for Christ sake."
Rickie Weeks could not be reached for comment as he was busy cleaning the guys toilet.
