Junk Truck'n - Junk Van'n

I'm still working on the Brewers preview post, so here's some junk to tide you over.

This gem can be found in the Delafield Fish Hatchery parking lot. It's been tagged for removal, but if you hurry you might still be able to catch a glimpse.


I guess I've become somewhat desensitized to shitty vans with plastic for a back window, but this thing has so much more to offer. One awesome feature is the baby bib hanging out the back door...


I'm so glad that you have a baby riding in this fucking death trap. Maybe wrapping it up until you could afford a van with a rear window would have been a better idea? The bib goes right along with the shitty baby diaper on the dashboard:


I have a feeling that if they left a shitty diaper on the dashboard this warning may go unheeded:


My favorite part of all though would have to be the empty Marlboro pack obviously smoked while waiting for a ride from Racine. (I'm just guessing)

JunkTruck'n - Junk Van'n

Saw this beast at the Potawatomi parking structure. Just a thought, but Next time you "fix" your rear window with duct tape, maybe think about using clear plastic? I've seen better laid out plans from Wile E. Coyote.



The best part has to be this:


Yes, that is in fact "The Club" across the steering wheel. Couple things here...

1. Really? The demo derby isn't in town, so I think you're safe.

2. The Club is like $50, maybe you should invest that in a real back window that isn't made from Flavorite trash bags?

3. When you called your insura.... Ok, I can't even do this one without laughing

4. Your lack of rear window makes me think that being at a casino probably isn't the best life choice at this venture. (Unless you were hitting up the 'Press Your Luck' slot)

And of course, what Junk Van would be complete without body clips:

Junk Truck'n - Junk Van'n

When I saw this van I teared up a little. It's like my personal white whale and I felt blessed to have experienced such a feat of Junk Van'n in the wild:

Holy shit, I don't even know where to start, this is amazing. I'm guessing this masterpiece started green being that the majority of it is that color, but how do you end up with this many mis-matched parts? Fred Sanford wouldn't even sell this kind of junk. Usually when you get parts from a junk yard you get bolts and shit. This person decided that bungie cords and a dolly tie down would be the best option for holding on the "new" hood. How bad was the other hood that this was a better option?! I guess I would have been more shocked if this actually had hub caps. What happens when the hood goes rocketing off into another vehicle? I'm sure they are fully insured...

This looks straight out of Escape from New York... Hurry Snake, the President is being held at Popeye's, you don't have much time.

The most amazing thing about this is that the tags are current!

Junk Truck'n - Junk Van'n

Whether you are part of a crack commando unit convicted for crimes you did not commit or you're looking to give kids candy and enjoy captive audiences, this is the vehicle for you!

I think it's a tragedy when an awesome van goes without a giant spoiler. It also needs either a flying eagle or a half naked women mural painted on the side. Some dice would complete the package.

Don't forget your chloroform and a sock...