NBA - Gun Fever

Some card game called Bourré and inter-team gambling debts led to a guns drawn locker room showdown between Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton of the Wizards. However, that by itself did not lead to a suspension until the above picture of Arenas pretending to fire his six shots to the wind surfaced. So, the actual criminal act of keeping what I'm sure is an unregistered firearm at work and drawing down on someone isn't worthy of a suspension, but joking about it after is? I really don't need anymore reasons to not watch the NBA, but their handling of this and many other situations is a joke.

I think I've mentioned this before... Once you become a professional athlete making millions of dollars it's probably time to put down your gats and stop being a thug. Do you really need to be strapped at the arena? Has the team mascot been threatening you?

NBA - Swatting bats and popp'n caps. Fun for the whole family.

New Packer Logo?

http://www.jsonline.com/news/milwaukee/61391642.html

This turd wants to update the Packer logo. This is a terrible idea and he should be shot for even suggesting it. The Brewers had the best logo in sports until they changed it for this God awfull retarded logo we have now. Let's spell out the word Brewers or just put an M and have some shitty ass wheat around it. Real inventive.

If it's not broken, don't fix it or chances are you'll fuck it.

Idiotic JSOnline Comments

tanner76
Thursday Sep 17, 2009 11:18 AM
They must be showcasing Escobar for the inevitable trade.
Yes, after being untouchable until this point they are going to trade him away now that he has proven himself. Who the fuck would play SS after the inevitable trade of Hardy? dumbshit.

tliebbs
Thursday Sep 17, 2009 11:25 AM
Cat can barely handle rightfield, what crazy stuff are you smoking thinking he can play CF, wow.
WTF are you even talking about? I don't recall Catalanotto making a single bad play yet. I'm not saying he is our CF of the future or should even be on the team next year as he was only a stop gap, but don't rip on his perfectly good defense fucker.

The Puff
Thursday Sep 17, 2009 12:42 PM
I agree we should trade McGahee now while his value is high.Imagine if we traded JJ after his all-star year, or Hart last year, or even Hall 2-3 years ago. I like Casey, but he is...1.Slow 2.Right handed 3.Average D at best. These kind of guys are easy to find.The problem is, he's cheap for a few more years and the type of player the Crew likes to keep around. The window is closing on Hardy and Hart to get anything of value because they are getting close to FA.The Brewers don't need everyone to hit 20 hrs! We are extremely lucky to have Braun/Prince. Just put cheap, high obp guys around them that can field...Trade the rest and spend the extra cash on PITCHING
What you're saying is that we should trade away any player that has an allstar season while they still have value? I do believe we've tried that. See the past 25 years.

You say you like Mcgehee and then you proceed to rip him apart. If you're gonna rip on Megeeneeheegeenee at least spell his name right. Let's examine this stupidity one step at a time:

1. A player like him is easy to find: This might be the worst comment I have ever seen. I would very much enjoy punching you in the fucking head.

2. He is slow: He's got a knee injury asshole. How many 3rd baseman in the league are stolen base threats especially while hampered with tendonitis?

3. He's right handed: You're totally correct. Any right handed player isn't worth shit. We should chop off their hands like in Riyadh. Braun is terrible, so were Yount and Molitor. Fuck right handers. All baseball players should be left handed then you could have your perfect lefty world Hitler.

4. Average D at best: Do you even watch the games or are you too busy sucking your moms dick? Mcgehee may not have started out with a golden glove, but he has been playing stellar D the whole second half. He was also shuffled around to various positions before the break which I can only imagine causes some brain farts defensively.

I think my head is smoking.

Idiotic JSOnline Comments

Oscar is clearly tarded. He's speaking of Braun being out yesterday. I used to read the comments for the comedy, but this is just too much.

OscarsBucks
Monday Sep 07, 2009 12:18 PM
He got hurt during that ridicolous stupid celebration yesterday. Serves them right. No place for that. You can have fun while showing some class. Prince is lucky there done with the Giants series and don't play them today or he'd be Beemed in the head.

OscarsBucks
Monday Sep 07, 2009 12:20 PM
This guy is Ben sheets V2. Has he ever not been injured? Pretty soon it'll be the blisters on his pinkie finger like Sheets all over again and the Brewers invested Long-term in this guy. Possible mistake?

OscarsBucks
Ok, I was wrong about him missing more games this season. I thought he missed more. My bad. Braun is actually my favorite player and I was just fearing this injury to maybe be more "Serious" Than it is. Last season he was like killing me everytime he struggled because you feared it was his back/intercoastal strain again. Sorry for being cautious.

Bathroom Etiquette

I thought I would post this handy how-to on using the bathroom at Miller Park; however, this goes for any bathroom. I've noticed lately that people seem to have forgotten or never knew how to do so properly. Perhaps they were raised by chimps?

1. When you walk into the bathroom do not announce to everyone "Fuck I gotta piss!" Everyone assumes that you have to piss being that you are in a bathroom. As much as I enjoy vulgarity, that's just dumb.

2. When extracting your weiner you don't need to make some giant arm movement as if it's 3 feet long and then make a grunting noise like it takes a lot of effort. Try not to bump the other person next to you while extracting.

3. Don't use the hole in your tighty whities. If you are still doing this I would assume you are also still wearing Pony high tops as well?

4. If at all possible leave a space between you and other urinal occupants. If there is a space and you chose not to utilize it then you are most likely gay. (not that there is anything wrong with that...)

5. While pissing try to stay as close to the urinal as possible as to not piss all over the fucking floor. I'm not really sure how this happens? Are people standing 4 feet away and making it rain?

6. Do not engage the person pissing next to you in a conversation. If you must talk to someone, under no circumstances should it be about how good the sausage tasted earlier.

7. It is not necessary to make noises like AHHHHHH. It's understood that you are relieving yourself and we all had to stand in line the same length of time.

8. Do not flush the urinal 18 times while pissing. Why the hell do people do this? Do you like the sound of water? Do you also like things that rattle and are shiny?

9. When getting rid of the dribbles 3 or 4 shakes should suffice. If it's 10 shakes or more then you're clearly playing with yourself. While shaking try not to do so in a way that sends droplets of piss sailing onto the face of the person next to you. (This has actually happened to me)

10. When finishing up see rule #2. Repeat.

11. Flush the damn urinal and or toilet. I don't want to smell your asparagus laden piss. Seriously, what the fuck have you been eating?! Perhaps it's time to see a doctor?

And if you were the person who pissed on my shoe at the last Brewers game, go fuck yourself

Thanks!

Clown

UPDATE: I forgot to mention washing your hands. Do I really have to tell you to do this? I'd rather not have you reaching into my bag of Funyuns after you just touched your syphilis infested dick. With all the Ebola, Scurvy and the Bends going around it's kind of important anyway.

Burple x Pound Puppies = Sqaure mint flavored chips

That dontevenreply.com got me thinking about a couple crazy email chains that I had. I've had the same hotmail account since it's inception in 1996 and it's just my first and last name @hotmail. I get a ton of misdirected email. Usually I'll just ignore it, but if the morons are persistant then I have some fun. I pulled this one out of my archives. I put the guys real email address because he's a fucktard and deserves it.

Date: Sun, 20 May 2007
From: muadeeb@tmail.com> >
To:***********@hotmail.com
Subject: RyderDate

If there is a bus ryder today, just 1 case of water for bus 1. I will also require several bags of tortilla's.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Sun, 20 May 2007
From: Clown
To: muadeeb@tmail.com
Subject: RyderDate:

We just ran out of the triangle flour tortillas... We still have mint flavored square corn ones. I will also throw in a case of Burple.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Mon, 21 May 2007
From: muadeeb@tmail.com
To: Clown
Subject: RyderDate

What's burple?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Mon, 21 May 2007
From: Clown
To: muadeeb@tmail.com
Subject: RyderDate

Burple was a drink mix that came in an expanding container. It started out small but you had to stretch it and add water to make the drink. The drink mix tasted very similar to Kool-Aid and usually came in purple (Grape). The label included instructions for poking a hole in the cap to convert the container into an ad hoc squirt gun after finishing the drink. I think the case is from 1986, but I just drank some last week and it's still good. The kids will love it and it prevents the Bends.

Do you need any tee-ball Hi-Liters?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Mon, 21 May 2007
From: muadeeb@tmail.com
To: Clown
Subject: RyderDate

I just need my normal order. Chips and water.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Mon, 21 May 2007
From: Clown
To: muadeeb@tmail.com
Subject: RyderDate

Are you sure? If you order the Burple I will also throw in a several Pound Puppies. They are a bit dusty and may have Ebola, but they should be fun for the bus "ryder".
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Tues, 22 May 2007
From: muadeeb@tmail.com
To: Clown
Subject: RyderDate
NO.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Tues, 22 May 2007
From: Clown
To: muadeeb@tmail.com
Subject: RyderDate

I found the hexagonal rosemary flavored tortilla chips you requested. They were behind my stash of weapons grade plutonium.

Is your flux capacitor still in working order? We are repairing those now.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No response so I emailed him again


Date: Thurs, 24 May 2007
From: Clown
To: muadeeb@tmail.com
Subject: RyderDate

Look you scurvy ridden cock ramp, I've had just about enough of your indecision.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 25 May 2007
From muadeeb@tmail.com
To: Clown
Subject: RyderDate

What's scurvy? Is that a band from Detroit?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 25 May 2007 (4 minutes after the last email)
From muadeeb@tmail.com
To: Clown
Subject: RyderDate

Calgary was what year of the winter olympics?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

At this point I figured the jig is up and he was just messing with me, so I ended it.

Date: Fri, 25 May 2007
From Clown
To: muadeeb@tmail.com
Subject: RyderDate

You must be the dumbest mother fucker ever. There are like 450 *******@hotmail.com, maybe check the address next time.

PS. Ryder is spelled RIDER twatstank.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next up, the time I pretended to be someones boyfriend and talked about pork.

Dyksta's solid gold dog

As part of Lenny Dykstra's filing for bankruptcy he listed his German Shepard as having a value of $10,000. Is it bred with Lassie? What's that you say Lenny Dykstra's dog? Lenny's money and life are trapped in a well?!

He also only lists one source of income even though he still pretends to be a high rolling financial advisor. A $5700 MLB pension.


http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0812092dykstra1.html

Idiotic JSOnline Comments

tliebbs
Monday Aug 10, 2009 9:05 AM
Anyone see Macha's comments saying he didn't SEE the questionable pitches for strikes? What is he doing then?
Do you expect Melvin to watch every pitch of every game? Maybe he had to take a shit.

Big Pappy
Sunday Aug 09, 2009 6:48 PM
UNBELIEVABLE! Davis Weathers will be the Brewers savior!Genius Doug Melvin has done it again!!
I'm sure Melvin is truely sorry that every deal he makes can't be as big as the Sabathia trade. Why make any trade at all unless it will make a HUGE impact right? Sometimes little deals make a big difference douche. Oh, and nice name. Way to think on your own.

Stupid JSOnline comments

Here are a few gems from todays comments:

JessBall
Monday Jul 27, 2009 11:36 PM
He's got to sit Kendall, more. There was a remarkable difference between Chris Smith's past outings and this one. With Rivera, he got ground balls. Do the Brewers' personnel pay attention to these forums and polls?
Yes, I'm sure Brewers personnel would be interested in hearing your retarded views.

Rome Guy
Tuesday Jul 28, 2009 7:06 AM
BEAN BALL - Brewer pitchers ever heard of it????Your entire staff is getting rocked by the last place team, give up 2 Grand Slams and nobody gets a pitch in the ear hole???Give Me A Break
Your team sucks ass so you should intentionally try to give someone brain damage? Good call asshole. Let's be short another pitcher via suspension. That will help the situation greatly.

CJTURT
Monday Jul 27, 2009 11:24 PM
Send him to AAA. I would (meaning Suppan)
Great idea. You really understand baseball contracts shit for brains.

FireDMelvin
Monday Jul 27, 2009 11:45 PM
Fire Melvin And Macha; Together they can go camping with Ned yost.Trade Hardy, Hoffman, looper, hart, may be if lucky cup of soup by eating half of his contract, for some propects who can pitch.
What the fuck are you even saying?

FireDMelvin
Monday Jul 27, 2009 11:54 PM
but it signify that crew is not a player away but players away to be in the post season.
This did not help your cause. I've had more coherent farts than this.

Molitor Fan
Monday Jul 27, 2009 11:59 PM
Escobar was not ready. I thought he was be but I was wrong. And when he does play he's going to make a lot of errors being a rookie SS. Then some of you malcontents may appreciate Hardy's steady play.
When you have this many grammatical errors it is pointless to get out your thesaurus.


KRK
Tuesday Jul 28, 2009 12:09 AM
Maybe the Crew can turn it around but right now its sad to see them fade this bad...So tomorrow, house rules go into effect since the Crew is under .500, no Brewers on TV...I sure hope its temporary...
Yes, why support the team when they need you most. Asshole.